


Not Allowed: Dave

by SnazzyCookies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-10
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:11:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnazzyCookies/pseuds/SnazzyCookies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How things went down, the way Dave saw it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's point of view in [Not Allowed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520188).
> 
> Corresponds to [this section](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520217).

==> Be the younger coolkid.  
  
Ever since Dave had called Bro out on banging some chick every night, he’d stopped going out so much. Dave wasn’t sure whether he was doing it in response to anything he had said or not; all he knew was that he liked having Bro around, and it helped with the loneliness he felt from the absence of John in his life.  
  
John. Fucking derpable Egbert still held his heart in his grasp like a vice. Hanging out with him had become so miserable and awkward that Dave had stopped inviting John over, and John hadn't done anything to invite him in return, so they actually hadn't seen each other outside of school in quite awhile. And it fucking sucked.  
  
So that night when Bro had stayed home to watch that movie with him, Dave had been more grateful than he'd ever let on. Any kind of company or distraction was better than sitting in his room by himself, with Rose trying to psychoanalyze him out of his depression and Jade trying to cheer him up, and his pester box with John saying nothing more than a few lines talking about some game or some other unimportant, irrelevant shit.   
  
But the fact that Bro was hanging around to specifically spend time with  _him_ , Dave, was not a thing that had crossed his mind whatsoever. Bro was not interested in Dave like that. Dave was not a person to Bro; he was just his annoying responsibility that he sort of cared about on most days, a thing in his way that kept him from getting laid as much as possible.  
  
Or at least, that was how Dave  _used_  to think about him. Lately, Bro actually seemed interested in Dave, or at least he wasn't as interested in ditching him as much as usual. Still, one night when they both happened to be in the kitchen together, it surprised the fuck out of Dave when Bro said,  
  
"So you still friends with John, or what?"  
  
Dave froze. What the fuck? Bro had...actually  _noticed_  that John hadn't been around? Like, he was actually paying  _that much attention_  to Dave's life?  _What the hell did that mean?_  Was this a test? A prank? Was Bro that fucking bored?  
  
Bro looked at Dave over the tops of his glasses- a thing he only did on very rare occasions. It was almost akin to a facial expression, and it meant "I'm being totally, completely serious, no bullshit."   
  
"Out with it," Bro prodded. Dave stalled by chewing. What the hell was he supposed to say? How the hell could he explain a story as complicated and fucked up as why John wasn't over to a person that, before this moment, he hadn't even been sure knew John's first name?  
  
"It's complicated," Dave said. He immediately saw that answer wasn't going to fly.  
  
"That only means it’s extremely simple and you just don't want to say it."  
  
Fuck you, Bro. Fine. Want the truth? Then deal with this shit.  
  
"Bro I'm gay," Dave spat.  
  
No reaction. None. Of course. What did Dave expect? This was fucking  _Bro_  he was talking to.  
  
"So how's that relate to John?"  
  
Dammit.   
  
"He isn't."  
  
There. All Dave's pain erupted to the surface, as Bro fucking reminded him of the gaping hole in his damn heart. Thanks, Bro, now I have to think about this shit all fucking night again.  
  
"He might change his mind about that. He's young, stupid, and John," Bro said. Dave stared at the table. Was Bro trying to make him feel better? The hell was going on?  
  
"He deserves better than me," Dave replied, disgusted at the sadness that he was unable to keep from showing in his voice.

It was true. John was sweet and gentle and lived with his heart on his sleeve. He'd want romance and long walks in parks and to gaze at stars and shit, and Dave could never give him that kind of happiness, and he knew it. Not that John would want that kind of stuff from Dave, anyway.  
  
"Bullshit," Bro said. His strong voice pulled Dave out of the misery he'd been wallowing in. "You're the best thing a dork like John could ever hope for."  
  
He knew Bro was trying to compliment him- but it wasn't helping. Dave snorted. "You'd think."  
  
"I mean, who in hell passes up a chance to be with a Strider? Only the King of Dork is capable of that shit."  
  
Okay, so Bro actually  _was_  trying to be nice for a change. Like, actually trying. Normally Dave would have blown off his older brother's half-ass attempt at comforting him, but right now he was so miserable that he actually welcomed the gesture. He might have even smiled a tiny bit.  
  
"Yeah, all I gotta do is just woo his heart a little harder, lay down some sick beats all over that sucker until he realizes how hot being with me fucking is."  
  
"Maybe watch some of those movies you hate with him, you know, as an excuse to be together. Maybe school him in irony some."  
  
Okay, Bro was definitely joking around now, and it made Dave's heart feel a little lighter.  
  
"Yeah, and then when he least suspects it I'll put on my smooth moves, and before he knows it boom there's my arm around his shoulder."  
  
"...And there's his sweet little head leaning on you as he sighs like a fairy princess in love..."  
  
"...And I'll capture him with my gorgeous dazzling eyes and say cheesy shitty lines from the movie..."  
  
"...and just at the most un-ironic moment ever, you lay the patented Strider kiss on him, and he's yours to ride into the fucking sunset."  
  
Dave couldn't help it; he laughed. There was nobody in the fucking world who could make him laugh the way Bro did. He had an Olympic gold sense of humor compared to the rest of humanity, his perfect mixes of irony and plays-on-words and sly references to shit as beautiful as his beats. Being with him like this, like bros, had Dave feeling good again. Comfortable, even. So comfortable that he didn't think about the next thing he said as much as he probably should have.  
  
"I don't know how to give a fucking kiss," he confessed, hoping his brother wouldn't rag on him too much for it; after all, he was only thirteen, he still had plenty of time.  
  
"I could teach you," Bro said.  
  
"What, start bringing your lays here and making out with them in front of me?"  
  
The idea made Dave slightly nauseous.   
  
"Nah, I'll just kiss you now and you'll learn from that. By the time you get to Egbert, you'll be impossible for him to resist."  
  
 _What?_  
  
Bro? Kiss him? Kiss...Dave?  
  
Dave stared at Bro across the table. Something about the way he'd said it- something in his voice, something on his face, Dave didn't even know- told Dave that he was not joking. He was actually offering this. Was it for irony? Dave couldn't see how. Well, it was kinda weird, kinda unexpected, but it wasn't Bro's usual style. It wasn't funny, it didn't make fun of anyone or point out the flaws of anything. It was just face-value, here-I-am-offering-to-kiss-you, under one pretty weak guise of "to teach you shit." Dave stared. What the hell was going on?  
  
There was only one way to find out.  
  
He nodded curtly, not wanting to give away his complete and utter confusion.   
  
"Yeah, okay."

Bro uncrossed his arms and walked over to him, his mannerisms completely, totally serious. Dave thought he even saw a slight flush in his cheeks, but hell that was probably just his imagination. Dave rose out of his chair and Bro stopped directly in front of him, serious as fuck. He lifted his finger and put it under Dave's chin like Dave was some chick, and his touch was warm and...gentle. Dave felt...weird. As in, he didn't feel nervous, he wasn't on guard; he knew for certain that a katana or smuppet wasn't about to come flying out of somewhere to assault him. He felt...safe.  
  
Bro leaned down and pressed his lips against Dave's. They were warm. His breath was hot as it came out of his nose. Dave didn't feel anything; in fact he was starting to wonder what in hell about this made people go so crazy over it and then Bro parted his lips slightly and sucked Dave's bottom lip in between them. It felt good.  
  
"Mmmph," Dave said, surprised at his own reaction. Bro's lips. Soft. Warm. Then Bro ran his tongue along Dave's lip, and holy shit, it felt fucking  _good_. Dave heard himself groan. His cheeks flushed from embarrassment. No doubt Bro was going to make fun of him for that; he could just imagine the intense ragging he was going to receive for moaning like some chick while his fucking brother laid some smacks on him.  
  
Then Dave looked at Bro's face. And holy shit, it was flushed. Was Bro...hot for him?  
  
Dave’s heart started to beat a little faster at the idea. No, no way. There was no fucking way Bro was hot for him. That would be fucked up. That would be too weird. That would be…..too much to hope for. Dave’s cheeks suddenly burned as he realized that he secretly wished Bro  _was_  hot for him. Bro was a fucking sexy dude; Dave had always thought so, but he’d never let the thought go beyond that before. It was too weird and too impossible of an idea. They were fucking brothers.   
  
And they were fucking kissing.  
  
Bro pulled back and Dave saw the redness in Bro's ears. He felt the redness in his own.   
  
"Wow," he said, forgetting to watch his words. His guard was completely down. If Bro wanted to topple him over, now would be the perfect time; it would take only the slightest nudge.  
  
"That's why it's patented," Bro said. His voice was as steady as ever- and yet, it wasn't. The usual edge that was always there, always  _always_  there, was missing. "And why it has the name Strider attached to it."  
  
Dave stared. Bro was turned on. He was definitely fucking turned on, and Dave was fucking liking it. Holy shit, holy shit.  
  
"So, are you schooled in the ways of kissing, now?"  
  
Holy shit, Bro was asking for another fucking kiss. Holy shit. Dave's mind was reeling. This was fucking real. Bro fucking wanted to kiss him. And Dave...Dave liked the idea. He definitely wanted a second kiss.  
  
"No," he said. "You'd better school me again."  
  
Bro practically lunged at Dave, grabbing the sides of his face with both of his palms firmly, and Dave's heart raced as he fully grasped the realness of this situation. Bro leaned down and  _kissed_  him, and Dave realized a ton of shit at once. One, Bro had been holding back on the first kiss, two, Bro  _definitely_  wanted him, and three...this felt fucking  _good_.  
  
Bro shoved his tongue deep into Dave's mouth. Dave couldn't help it. He groaned. He suddenly tasted Bro, felt his warmth, felt the heat coming off his body. He was close; he was  _wanting_  Dave. Holy shit, his tongue. It moved inside Dave's mouth, sliding along Dave's tongue, making Dave hot.   
  
Dave raised his tongue back. Bro inhaled sharply through is nose, and then Dave was sure. Bro wanted him. Bro was _hot_  for him. Dave's heart beat faster. This was fucked up, and he didn’t even care. He just cared that Bro was kissing him, holding him, oh wow it felt so good, he smelled so good, so close. 

Bro pulled back and Dave was left breathless. His cheeks burned and he knew his poker face was ruined. So was Bro’s. For the first time in forever, maybe even years, Dave felt like he could  _see_  Bro. His mask was gone. He was showing how he really felt. And Dave…liked it. Bro wanting him felt  _good_. Damn, he was hot. All of a sudden, he had every bit of Dave’s attention, and John Egbert was the last thing on Dave’s mind.  
  
Bro wasn’t saying anything. As the heat from the kiss started to wear off, the reality of what was happening crept in on Dave’s mind. A weird, unpleasant kind of feeling crept up his skin. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This was like, incest, or something.   
  
“We’re fucked up,” Dave said. He kept his eyes trained on Bro’s face, searching it for any kind of clue as to how he felt- but as the moment dragged on, he watched Bro’s expression go back to its usual stone nothingness.   
  
“Is that a problem?” Bro asked. Dave heard his fear. Holy shit, it was plain as day. Bro was scared shitless.   
  
“Is it a problem for you?” Dave asked back, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.  
  
“What I think doesn’t matter. This playing field is in the Guiness for ‘most unlevel of all time.’ They built the fucking stadium on the side of a fucking hill and nobody who has ever played your side ever wins.”  
  
Holy shit, Bro was terrified. Dave had never seen him so afraid, and he was starting to see why. Bro had crossed the fucking line. The fucking line that you don’t fucking cross. The adult-putting-the-moves-on-a-kid line. He thought he was taking advantage of Dave somehow. Well, that was bullshit. Dave could take care of his fucking self. He didn’t need Bro to fucking protect him like he was some snot-nosed six-year-old afraid of the boogeyman.   
  
What he needed was for his fucking brother to be  _around_ …and if Dave didn’t tell him, right fucking now, that he was hot for him, too, he’d lose him again. He’d flashstep back into oblivion and the light that was Bro would be gone out of Dave’s life again. Maybe forever this time. Fuck, that couldn’t happen. Fuck, he had to say something to keep Bro from leaving. Bro had to know Dave wanted him, too.  
  
“I don’t think,” Dave said, choosing his words carefully, aware that if he said too much or too little this delicate thing would be over before it even went anywhere. “That we’re playing the same game you think we are,” he said.   
  
“Doesn’t change anything.”  
  
Dammit, Bro, why are you always so stubborn?  
  
“It does,” Dave tried again. He had to convince Bro that this was okay, without breaking the careful balance of irony they’d built up around the situation. “…if I’m handing out tickets to the fucking game.”  
  
If that didn’t make it clear that Dave wanted Bro too, then he didn’t know what would.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bro said. Okay, he got it. And Dave could safely say that he’d never seen his older brother flip his shit like this before.  
  
“Bro. Chill,” he said.   
  
And Bro appeared to do just that. His face relaxed. He shrugged as if nothing had happened at all.   
  
“Well, I have shit to do,” he said, walking towards the kitchen door. “And you have homework.”  
  
He had just fucking kissed him, and how he was going to pull the parent card?  
“Fuck, Bro. Seriously?”  
  
“Seriously,” he said, looking at Dave over the top of his fucking sunglasses again, making his point very clear.  
  
“Not a level playing field, little dude.”  
  
Dave felt a chill run up his spine. Okay, so Bro was still acknowledging the thing that had happened. There was still a kiss that had occurred between them. But apparently, that wasn’t going to change anything much. Dave felt slightly disappointed.  
  
Bro stopped and turned in the kitchen doorway.   
  
“But I’m giving you a thing I never got,” he said, and Dave heard the pain in his voice. The sentence was a bit strange; it didn’t flow from the previous part of their conversation and Dave found himself trying to figure out what in hell Bro was talking about. A thing Bro never got when? As if Bro had ever been in the shoes Dave was in…oh. He had.  
  
“What?” Dave asked, his voice weak and soft. Bro stepped closer to him again. This time, Dave’s heart raced as he realized the possibility that Bro’s intention of coming close might be to kiss him. Hell, he was hoping for that. Hell, it was happening.  
  
Bro’s lips were there, he was kissing Dave again, and Dave allowed himself to moan again, to make it perfectly, absolutely clear that he  _liked_  this. That he wanted more of this.  
  
Bro pulled back again, and this time he did nothing to hide the lust on his face. Dave couldn’t stop staring at it. He could hardly believe that Bro felt this way about  _him_. He could hardly believe how much he liked it.  
  
“I’m putting you in charge of ticket sales, little bro,” he said. “The minute you decide the game’s over, it’s over.”  
  
Dave’s face contorted with confusion. Over? Why in hell would he want this to be over?   
  
Before Dave could form any words, Bro turned and left, leaving him standing there in the kitchen alone, Bro’s drool still drying on his lips. He stared out at the empty doorway for a very long time, his mind trying to figure out what in hell was going on. Bro obviously wanted him. And it obviously meant something to him; those kisses had proven that. But Bro’s fear was clearly real.   
  
For the zillionth time, Dave found himself wishing that he could just fucking talk to his brother, just fucking say what he wanted to say and have Bro fucking listen, without having to worry about levels of irony or coolness or whatever other ‘defensive mechanisms’, as Rose called them.  
  
Dave wished, actually, that he could talk to Bro the way he could talk to John; just plainly say what he fucking meant, and nothing else.   
  
“It’s fucking okay, Bro,” he said softly to the walls. “You can kiss me again. I fucking want it.”  
  
But, if there was anyone in the world who could manage to tell Bro anything, it was Dave. Dave knew him well enough. He’d figure out a way. Somehow, he would tell his stubborn older brother that he thought he was the hottest thing on earth, and kissing him was just fine, and he could do it any time he wanted, screw how fucked up it was.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's point of view from [Not Allowed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520188).
> 
> Corresponds to [this section](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520241).

Dave spent the entire day completely distracted. Not that he ever paid attention to class, but normally he could be counted on for a snide remark about whatever conversation was happening around him, or to have something sarcastic to say to any teacher that dared annoy him out of his happy stupor in the back row. But today, his mind was completely occupied by Bro, and those kisses, to the point he was useless to talk to.  
  
"Dave! Hey, Dave!" Jade finally got his attention by flicking his shades, which made him jump and subsequently scowl.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Everyone wants to know your opinion!" she asked. Dave looked around at the lunch table compiled of most of his friends, and noticed everyone was staring at him. Everyone, that was, except for the one particular guy whose attention he desperately wanted, whose eyes would never meet his, who used to sit next to him and now sat at the far end of the table.

Bro's kiss, hot as it was, couldn't cure the pain he felt from that.

"Dave! Oh my gosh, I know you don't care but you could at least  _pretend_  that you care!" Jade shouted. Dave squinted and shook his head.  
  
"Okay, okay, fuck. What in hell am I pretending I care about, again?"  
Jade huffed and crossed her arms.  
  
"Who's dress is prettier, mine or Kanaya's?"  
  
"Kanaya's."

"What? Why?"  
  
"Because she's not annoying me."  
  
"Oooh! Oooh, you...grrr!"  
  
Jade stormed off in a huff, and Dave felt possibly maybe slightly just a tad guilty.  
  
Not really. Maybe if he told them all he was gay, they wouldn't pester him about girls' clothes anymore. Or maybe they'd pester him more; who knew. John, true to his unending loyalty, had never told anyone his secret. Only Rose knew the cause of the tension between them, and that was because she'd figured it out for herself. Which she said was because she was homosexual, too. Dave stared at the table, glassy-eyed. At least the girl  _she_  was after actually liked her back.  
  
The typical shitty day ended, with Dave feeling like typical shit. He got home and tossed his backpack on the floor by the door and automatically trudged towards his room...  
  
He passed the kitchen and saw the plate he'd left there last night from the sandwich he'd been eating. The sandwich that sat there unfinished. Because his eating of it had been interrupted.  
  
There was no one around now, so he let his cheeks flush the way they wanted to. He stared at the table, at the plate, trying to figure out what in hell was going on. Sure, last night Bro had come on to him- but this was Bro. For all Dave knew, that was a one-time thing, never to happen again. He decided that was probably for the best- and that also, that it would suck. Bro coming home and pretending everything was normal was about the shittiest thing Dave could think of to add to his shitty mood. He didn't want that. He wanted Bro the way he was last night; so hot and bothered that he forgot his defenses and actually came close to Dave. Dave wanted Bro close. Really close. Kissing close. Dave's ears burned at the memory now. He had to encourage Bro to do it again. So instead of going to his room, he turned and sat on the couch. In Bro's spot. It was a pretty clear message. He knew Bro would get it.  
  
When the door opened, Dave's heart pounded in his chest. He was nervous as fuck, but he knew how to hide it. He didn't budge; he didn't move an inch to even turn his head. He pretended like Bro walking in was nothing at all.  
  
Bro walked right passed him, and he felt disappointed. But then, he always went straight into the shower. He was gross after work. Not good for kissing. Dave heard him shut the bathroom door. He waited.  
  
Bro seemed to shower for fucking ever. The bathroom door opened. Dave heard Bro go into his room. Then nothing.  
  
Dave sighed heavily and flicked aimlessly through the channels. Nothing was on. He picked some shitty show about stupid things people did which got caught on camera, or something.

Then he heard Bro's door open. He heard his footsteps come down the hall. He stopped in the doorway. Dave stopped breathing as Bro seemed to stare at him forever, his gaze clearly trained on Dave. He didn't move.  
  
"Are you busy."  
  
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, he was asking. Shit. Dave swallowed. He was suddenly nervous as fuck, as if he was going on his first date, or something. Shit, fucking calm down, it's just Bro.  
  
"Nope."  
  
Somehow, he'd made his voice come out steady and even. He didn't move.  
Bro walked across the room and stood right in front of him, blocking his view of the TV. Dave remained perfectly still. Whatever happened was up to Bro. Dave just had to either take it or not take it; that was all he could do. But hell Bro was taking forever to do  _something_ , anything, and Dave didn't know how much longer he could fucking take it.  
  
Bro leaned down to kiss him and Dave couldn't help it. He tilted his face up and moved up into the kiss, eager, desperate. Bro fucking  _moaned._ He cupped Dave's face between both of his hands and leaned into the kiss heavily, and Dave groaned in return.  
  
Oh, hell yes, they were kissing again and it was just as good as he'd remembered it. Dave knew how to kiss now and he parted his lips to let Bro in and lifted his tongue to sweep across Bro's lip. Bro inhaled deeply and Dave felt a rush of blood to his dick; holy shit, it felt so good; this was so fucked up but he really didn't care. Bro was fucking hot.  
  
His kisses didn't stop. He pushed Dave's head into the back of the couch, pinning him down and Dave was helpless to resist him. He heard the remote clatter to the ground as he surrendered to the delicious things that Bro was doing to him. Bro shoved his tongue into his mouth and Dave groaned again, unable to help himself, totally lost to the deliciousness that was Bro.  
  
Bro pulled his lips away slowly, and Dave was a little disappointed that it was over. But then he slid his fingers up into Dave's hair, making his ears burn. He tilted Dave's head to the side and Dave let him, and when Bro lowered his lips to his neck it sent a jolt of fire through his skin. Dave gasped and lost all his desire to move. Oh, fuck, yes, Bro...  
  
Bro's lips trailed down his neck, and every kiss made Dave hotter. His dick was straining against his jeans now but he didn't even want to move to fix it.   
  
Bro reached out and took Dave's hand. His touch was warm and strong, and Dave wanted more of it, so much more. Then Bro lifted his hand up...to...  
  
 _Holy_  shit, up to his dick. He choked on his own gasp as his ears flamed red, his entire body grew hot, holy shit holy shit holy shit, Bro wanted him to touch his dick, oh, fuck.  
  
Dave had no fucking idea what he was doing. If his face hadn't already been flushed, he would have blushed with embarrassment.  
  
"No." Bro growled in his ear. Fuck, he was so turned on. "Like this."  
  
Bro slid his hand across Dave's shoulder and slowly down his chest, tickling him as he went, down over his stomach, over his abdomen, down to his pelvis, lower and lower, and Dave's heart raced with anticipation at what was about to happen.  
  
 _Holy fuck_ , Bro was rubbing his dick through his jeans. Dave squeaked. His eyes flew open and his back arched as he raised himself up into Bro's touch, like a desperate loser, and he didn't care. Bro pressed down and slid the heel of his hand along his dick and Dave shuddered because it felt  _so good_ , his hand falling useless to his side, the sensations overwhelming him because fuck, no one had ever touched him like this before, fuck.

Bro continued to rub him as he tightened his grip in Dave's hair. He sucked the lobe of Dave's ear into his mouth. Dave was panting now and he felt himself starting to sweat. He was so hot, he'd never felt this hot in his life, he had no idea a person could  _feel_  this hot. His dick pulsed with pleasure as it tried to grow beyond the confines of his jeans as Bro pressed down on it with the heel of his hand. Holy shit, Bro was touching his fucking dick and this was so fucked up but it felt so damn good Dave just didn’t  _care_. The heat between his legs somehow intensified even more and Dave felt his balls start to ache with the want of release.  
  
Bro pulled away, and his lips were gone and his hand was gone. The   
pleasure stopped.  
  
"Go back!" Dave cried. "Fuck, Bro, don't stop  _now_!"  
  
"Oh, I'm not stopping. We're just getting started." he said, his voice a low growl of lust. "Lay down."  
  
Dave's heart was pounding so hard he could barely hear. He shook as he stretched out awkwardly on the couch, suddenly feeling ten times more vulnerable. Bro stood over him and Dave stared at him with impatience, his cock throbbing in desperation to be touched again. Bro still didn't move. He stared down at Dave with uncertainty.  
  
"Okay, okay, I know how fucked up this is Bro but what you're doing to me feels so good I don't fucking care. I know you want me. Just do it." Dave's face burned at the words. He couldn't believe he'd just spoken so straightforward like that, Bro was never gonna...  
  
Bro lay down on the couch next to him. Holy shit, he was so fucking sexy and now he was  _right there_ , Dave felt his whole body lying beside him, hot and strong. He slid his arm underneath Dave's back and slid his right palm over Dave's stomach and started to rub it.   
  
Dave felt him hesitate again. Bro pulled his hand away. He knew he was feeling guilt; he was worried about taking advantage of Dave or something but that shit just didn’t apply to this situation. Yes, okay, they were brothers and this was fucked up- but what about Strider life wasn’t fucked up? Dave had to convince Bro that this situation was  _fine_  with him; more than fine, holy shit Bro was so damn sexy and now Dave actually had the chance to be with him and fuck, he wasn’t going to give it up that easily.  
  
Dave turned and lifted his chin so his lips were next to Bro's ear.  
  
"Bro..." he said, his body still shaking, his cock throbbing with need, his heart pounding with want, "Please  _don't stop_."  
  
Bro slid his fingers underneath Dave's shirt, stroking his bare skin. Electric fire raced through Dave's body and he inhaled sharply as his stomach involuntarily shrank away. Bro smirked and tickled him, teasing him. He slid his hand further up Dave's chest, away from where Dave wanted him to go.  
  
"Bro, you're going the wrong  _way_!" he said in frustration, through gritted teeth.  
  
"Which one of us knows what he's doing?" Bro replied, his voice the usual condescending, mocking tone Dave was used to. Dave was about to feel annoyed but then Bro's fingertips brushed across his nipple and   
  
 __

 _Oh_ , wow, okay, oh...  
  
Bro pinched his nipple and the shock of the sensation overwhelmed Dave. He mewled, the sounds coming out of his mouth no longer under his control. He panted heavily.  
  
"Just who do you think is being schooled, here?" Bro said, stroking and teasing his nipple, making Dave's cock rigidly hard without even touching it. Dave squirmed with pleasure and desperation as Bro tortured him with delicious hotness, and Dave became an incoherent, helpless puddle under the teasing strokes of Bro’s thumb.  
  
 _Then_  he moved his hand slowly back down Dave's chest and across his stomach to the top of his jeans. He undid the button. He pulled down Dave's zipper. Dave became absolutely still, not wanting to discourage Bro in any way but also feeling suddenly very nervous. 

Bro traced his fingers along the waistband of Dave's boxers. Dave's heart pounded furiously in his chest as he waited in anticipation. Bro lifted the waistband and slid his hand inside, his fingers brushing against Dave's cock. Sensation raced through Dave’s dick and up into his abdomen. He threw his head back and gasped. Bro confidently wrapped his fingers around Dave's swollen hard erection.  
  
Dave whimpered as pleasure shot through his body, heat singing through his veins. Bro pulled down and Dave's squeak got caught in his throat. Bro started to pump him slowly, moving his hand up and down, and it was so warm, his hand was so strong, it felt  _so good_. Dave's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He never wanted Bro to stop. He wanted him, oh fuck he wanted him to be close, to be near him. Dave turned sideways and with his free hand clasped at Bro's shirt, desperate to be closer to him, desperate to keep him.  
  
Bro sat up and Dave grew afraid that he was leaving again. But no, holy shit he was sliding his fingers into the waistband of Dave’s jeans and boxers at the same time and holy shit holy shit holy shit Bro was pulling them down oh my God Bro’s taking my pants off and fuck, his face is flushed as red as hell fuck, he’s as turned on as I am and fuck, my pants are down at my knees and there’s my bro staring at my naked boner with a look of desire on his face.  
  
Dave couldn’t believe Bro was looking at him that way; like his dick was the hottest thing Bro had ever seen and he couldn’t fucking wait to touch it.  
  
Bro lay back down next to him, and it felt so good to have him so close. He slid his arm back under Dave’s shoulders, holding him, pressing Dave against his chest, and Dave could feel Bro’s heart pounding as hard as his own. Bro slid his hand back down, back down to Dave’s naked dick and wrapped his fingers around him, oh my God.   
  
Bro slid his thumb over Dave’s tip, spreading his precum over it. Dave was nearly paralyzed with pleasure. He could barely move.   
  
“Ohh..uh...” was all he managed to say, as his faced was pressed into Bro’s chest, Bro’s arm around his back, holding him close, Bro’s warm, strong hand wrapped around his penis and he moved and holy shit, he was pumping him, oh God, so strong, so warm, so hot, Bro, Bro, it feels so good do you know how good this feels do you know what you’re doing to me oh God, yes, yes, holy shit I love you.  
  
Bro pulled his hand away again. The euphoria Dave had been surrounded by shattered and the world became cold.  
  
“Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop!” he cried, as uncool and desperate as ever but he couldn’t care right now.  
  
“Shhh, I’m not stopping, relax,” Bro said. His voice was soothing and warm, and dripping with want, and Dave’s heart pounded furiously as he heard how much Bro wanted him. A few seconds later and Bro’s hand was back, just as promised, and oh my God he took off his fucking glove. Bro’s bare fucking hand is stroking my dick holy shit.  
  
Heat and pleasure surrounded Dave in a fog and he no longer cared about irony or coolness or any other shit. His entire world was just Bro and how hot he was and how good he was making him feel. Want surged through him and Dave started to thrust, humping up into Bro’s hand and fuck it was the most uncool thing ever but Bro wasn’t making fun of him for it; he saw Bro’s face and it wasn’t his usual stone it was full of expression, of want and desire and  _affection_.   
  
Dave stared at Bro’s face from behind half-closed eyes as he thrust up into his warm, sure hand. The pleasure intensified to a level Dave had never felt in his life. Pulses of heat raced through him and exploded, and then he was cumming, lost to the pleasure, barely aware of the fact that Bro’s hand and his stomach were getting covered in jizz oh my God Bro do you know how amazing this feels fuck Bro, I love you.  
  
Dave shook. Bro...Bro pulled him close. Bro kissed his forehead. Dave clutched his shirt between his fingers, holy shit Bro you’re everything to me holy shit, hold me forever don’t let me go.

Dave came down from his high. He let go of Bro’s shirt and collapsed onto his back, panting, as his senses started to come back to him. His fucking brother had just jerked him off, and it had felt  _amazing_.  
  
“Okay. Um, okay,” Dave said, still breathless and panting. “Fuck, wow.”  
  
Bro breathed heavily in his ear, his voice still laden with lust.  
  
“It’s good, isn’t it?” he whispered, and Dave heard the depth of his want, and he swallowed with nervousness. Bro was still fucking hot. And now, Dave was sure, he was going to want to cum. Dave’s nervousness grew.  
  
“Um, yeah,” he said.  
  
“You’re gonna return the favor now,” Bro said softly, and Dave’s heart started to race again. His pants were still down to his knees. He was covered in his own cum, and Bro was next to him, hot as fuck. Dave’s eyes grew wide. What...what did Bro want?  
  
He reached over and took Dave’s hand and moved it over to the hard lump in his own jeans. Dave started to relax. Okay, he wanted a handjob. That was okay.   
  
Dave felt how hard Bro was underneath his hand, and he started to feel hot again. Wow, Bro really wanted him. Dave’s cheeks somehow grew hotter and he slid his hand along Bro’s erection.  
  
“Mmph,” Bro said softly. Dave’s heart raced. Wow, this was so fucked up, wow, this was so dirty and so hot, he was stroking his brother’s dick and it was about the hottest thing ever. Holy shit, Bro wanted him and holy shit, _Dave_  was making  _Bro_ feel good.  
  
Bro reached down and undid the button on his pants. Dave tried to swallow his nerves. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Bro grabbed Dave’s hand and shoved it into his pants but outside his boxers and holy shit, Bro was fucking hard.  
  
Dave was shaking as he gripped Bro in his fingers and squeezed.  
  
“Uhh...” Bro said, and Dave gave him a stroke and Bro inhaled sharply through his teeth. Dave was burning with fire and nervousness. Bro was damn fucking hard.   
  
“Fuck, Bro,” he said, his voice quivering and giving him away, but Bro was too far gone to make fun of him for anything. “You’re really fucking into this...”  
  
Just how badly did Bro want him? Dave shook, unable to get his nerves to steady as he started to realize that Bro wasn’t just into him like one more of his fucks. Bro was fucking helpless to him. When he covered Dave’s hand with his own and rubbed it hard over his dick Dave became sure; Bro was so far gone he was forgetting to hide how he felt at all. Dave looked up and saw pleasure on his face. Dave’s heart raced. Holy shit, Bro is fucking hot for me like I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. Dave felt a surge of attraction for him. He felt how much he loved him. Oh God, I’m in love with my own fucking brother. 

Bro moved; his breaths coming hot and heavy as he slid his arm out from under Dave and rose up on all fours. Dave looked up at him and watched Bro check him out; even though his shades hid his eyes Dave could always still tell where he was looking and right now it was at Dave’s body, at Dave’s cock, which was already starting to grow again because damn, this was hot and damn, Bro was so fucking beautiful. He saw Bro wanting him and Dave was nervous as hell but damn, if Bro wanted to have sex with him he fucking could. Bro you can have me, any way you want, I don’t care how fucked up it is I trust you I love you.  
  
Dave saw Bro hesitating again. Dave had to keep reminding him that this was okay. Bro needed his assurance that he wanted this. Shaking, Dave reached up his hands to the waist of Bro’s jeans and slid his fingers in underneath Bro’s boxers. He pulled Bro’s pants and boxers down, his hands sliding over his ass and down Bro’s thighs, revealing his hard purple dick. Dave was very grateful for his shades in that moment because holy shit, Bro was fucking  _huge_.  
  
Dave tentatively lifted his fingers up to it, brushing along Bro’s shaft. Bro hissed and Dave felt his heat. Blushing like crazy, he slowly wrapped his fingers around Bro’s huge dick, his heart pounding like mad, because holy shit I’m touching another guy’s dick and it’s Bro’s and he’s fucking into this as hell and damn, this is hot. Dave pulled down.  
  
“Fuck,” Bro whispered, and his tone was not like any tone Dave had ever heard from him before. Dave looked up at his brother’s face and barely recognized the person above him; his cheeks were bright pink, his ears were flaming red, and his expression looked almost as desperate as Dave had felt a few moments ago. Bro was forgetting to hide how he felt. Dave stared in awe. He’d spent years and years of his life trying to figure out how to crack Bro’s impenetrable stone facade, and now he’d found the way in. It was sex. And it was awesome.  
  
“Come on, just like I showed you,” Bro whispered, and Dave snapped out of his adoration of Bro’s face and started to pump him. Bro’s breath came out heavy and hot, and his head dropped like he could barely hold it up. Dave felt Bro’s hot dick pulsing under his fingers, and he felt himself getting hard again. He’d never touched another dick before, and before this moment he hadn’t been _really_  sure that he’d wanted to. All he’d known before now was that the only person he’d ever really had a crush on was John, and that gay porn turned him on.   
  
But fuck, Bro’s dick, hot and hard in his hand was sexy as hell. The fact that it was Bro’s didn’t even turn him off...actually, that probably made it hotter. He fucking loved Bro; he’d always looked up to him and wanted to be closer to him and wanted Bro to want him and now he did. Fuck, did he ever; holy shit Bro was so fucking far gone; his breaths were coming hot and heavy and he was almost groaning and it was Dave’s hand making him feel that way. Bro looked up at him and for a few seconds Dave saw nothing but pure pleasure on his face, pleasure Dave was causing him and then fuck, oh fuck, Bro was cumming, Dave was making Bro cum holy shit holy shit, Bro’s cum was all over his shirt and it was fucking sexy as hell and oh yes, Bro was kissing him, his lips crushing hard down on him and Dave groaned while his heart pounded like crazy and yeah, Dave was now very certain he was gay.

Bro then abruptly sat up and jerked Dave’s hand away from his dick. Dave allowed himself a quizzical expression.  
  
“Shit,” Bro said. He got up and shoved himself quickly back into his pants, no doubt getting mess all over himself in the process. Dave saw his guilt right through his fake passive mask; to him it was plain as day. Dave felt a little guilty himself then, for encouraging Bro to do something that maybe he hadn’t really wanted to?   
  
Dave sat up and yanked up his own pants, deciding he’d clean himself off later, too. Sitting exposed in front of Bro right now seemed kinda mean, when Bro was obviously having some kind of issue with this situation.   
  
“Fuck, Bro,” Dave said, gesturing to the mess on his shirt, trying to joke a little to calm him down. Bro didn’t indicate that he’d even gotten the joke. He sat heavily on the coffee table, his knees spread wide. He rested his elbows on them and folded his hands into a fist, resting his chin on them. He stared at Dave and said nothing.  
  
The heat was completely faded now, and Dave felt the awkwardness in the air. He sat up and stared at his brother, and saw the turmoil on his face and started to feel it himself. Yeah, okay, this situation was pretty weird. It was, in all essence, pretty fucked up. Dave saw the troubled look on Bro’s face and started to feel extremely guilty. He’d egged Bro into this; he’d encouraged Bro to come on to him and maybe Bro hadn’t really wanted to. Maybe he’d been trying not to.  _He_  was at least properly bothered by this situation, where Dave wasn’t bothered at all by the fact that he thought his own brother was hot. But he should have. He should have been bothered by it, and he wasn’t.   
  
“What the fuck is wrong with us?” he finally said. He saw Bro’s features darken. He remained absolutely, perfectly silent. The moment stretched on longer and longer and Dave’s guilt started to pile up. Bro didn’t want this the way he did. Bro was trying to fight this thing. And Dave wasn’t letting him. Dave started to feel like an asshole.  
  
“Me,” he finally said, his shades not looking at Dave but at the floor. “What’s wrong with us is me.”  
  
He got up and turned and left Dave sitting there, alone on the couch. Dave heard the door to Bro’s room shut more quietly than he’d ever remembered hearing it. He stared down the hallway for a long time, the feelings of guilt and love that he felt for his Bro rising and falling in him in a weird mix that made him feel amazing and awful at the same time. He was pretty sure he’d just fallen in love, and then been abandoned and left alone. All he wanted was for Bro to come back. And it seemed that all Bro wanted was to stay away from him.   
  
And usually, whenever Dave and Bro wanted two different things, Bro always got his way. Which meant he wasn’t coming back. Which meant this thing that had happened was all Dave was going to get.  
  
Years of practice and training were the only things that kept his eyes dry, but his frown was still a little deeper than usual as he got up and went to his room. Fuck John Egbert; Bro was the best at doing everything there was, and that included breaking Dave Strider’s fucking lame ass heart.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's point of view in [Not Allowed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520188).
> 
> Corresponds to [this section](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520276).

Dave did not sleep that night. He lay in bed feeling empty and cold and guilty.  
  
He wasn't stupid. Bro might have been the master of pokerfaces, but Dave was the master of reading them. Everything was plainly obvious to him: Bro wanted him, felt guilty about it, was trying to fight his feelings, and then couldn't help himself.  
  
Dave kind of understood where Bro was coming from. He certainly thought Bro was hot, fucked up as that was. He absolutely understood Bro's reasons for wanting to fight those feelings; Bro wasn't the king of good parenting, but he tried. He definitely tried. And everyone knew that the ultimate, most grand fail of parenting was to have sex with your own fucking kid. That's why it was a fucking crime, dammit. It was just a thing that you don't do.   
  
What kind of fucked up kid would want that, anyway?  
  
Dave Strider, apparently.  
  
Dave sighed heavily and rolled over, covering his face with his arm to block out the neon lights filtering in through the blinds. Bro had been  _trying_  to do the right fucking thing; he'd tried to stop, several times.  
  
And Dave begged him not to. Dave egged him on, pushed him, coerced him, out of his own selfishness because it had felt so good, it had felt so, so good to have Bro so close, so warm and strong and near him, touching him, kissing him...  
  
"Dammit," Dave whispered as he felt a boner coming on. He tried to stop the thoughts from continuing, but once he began playing the evening through in his head, he couldn't stop from remembering it.  
  
Bro kissing him. Bro crushing him into the couch; Bro wanting him, Bro _needing_ him. Holding him, touching him, even when he'd been teasing him it had felt good because it was just so  _him_ , he was so  _close_  and Dave didn't care that all the rules said it was not allowed; he didn't care if this kind of thing was forbidden, he was fucking in love with Bro dammit and he didn't  _care_.  
  
Except...Bro cared. Bro didn't want this. He was trying to fight it. And Dave...Dave should let him.   
  
Dave rolled over again and ignored the burning in his eyes because fuck, if he was going to cry like a baby then Bro was right and he definitely wasn't mature enough to handle this kind of situation. Fuck; if Bro wanted to back out, Dave would let him. He'd have to let him. He loved him, after all, and you didn't push people you loved into doing things they didn't want to do.  
  
Because when you did that, they ran off and left you standing by yourself in the middle of the living room, cold and alone.

The next day at school, Dave Strider was quiet. Which was just like every day; he hardly wasted his time talking to anyone, so nobody noticed that anything was up.  
  
Nobody except for Rose, of course, because Rose always noticed everything.  
  
"You're withdrawn today," she said quietly as they walked between history and science, the noisy crowd of students walking around them drowning out their conversation from anyone else's ears.  
  
Not that Dave was saying anything. He shrugged.  
  
"I mean, more than usual, of course," she added. "Because normally you're the pinnacle of social butterfly-ism, putting introverts like Jade and John to shame."  
  
"Why do you always have to bring him up?" Dave snapped.  
  
"So it  _is_  about him."   
  
"No, it isn't," he spat, too fast, kicking himself afterwards because he should have said that yes, it was.  
  
Rose turned to look at him and narrowed her eyes in that way that made him feel like she could see right through his skull and pick out his thoughts, one by one, in any order she chose.  
  
 _Yeah, I'm hot for my brother and last night we jerked each other off and it was great, suck it._  
  
"Did something happen at home last night?"  
  
Damn, she was good.  
  
"That is in the realm of things that are possible, along with Bill Cosby starting a successful sitcom about grandparenting hijinks and Karkat Vantas going a full day without getting detention for flapping his mouth uncontrollably. Honestly it's just a reflex for the poor bastard you'd think they'd learn and cut him some slack."  
  
"Your pathetic attempt to dodge the question and transparent efforts to change the subject lead me to the conclusion that the answer was yes."  
  
Fuck you, Rose. Fuck you for noticing me and giving a shit.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"So," she said, pausing outside her classroom door before going in, her face  _nearly_  as cold and impassive as his, but not quite, "...just on the very off chance that you want to step out of the pool of denial you constantly wallow in, I'm here to listen, no judgments or questions asked."  
  
"Sure, Dr. Lalonde, I'll keep it in mind."  
  
"Any time, Strider," she said, and he glowered at her back as she disappeared into her classroom, annoyed that she was somehow always, always right.  
  
Dave was even more unable than usual to pay attention in class this time. It was even worse than yesterday; he now had not one kiss to replay over and over in his mind, but a whole slew of them, and a lot of other things that plagued his mind, the biggest of which was the question of what the hell all of this meant, and whether it was going to happen again.  
  
He had already decided by the time school was over that he was going to do everything he could to make it happen again.

:::

He was ready. He prepared himself even better than yesterday; he brushed his teeth, changed into a clean shirt, put on deodorant, not that it mattered. Bro had seen and smelled him at his worst, bruised and bloody and sweaty as fuck after a strife, but he still wanted to feel sexy. He wanted to feel worth Bro’s attention. So he was much more ready this time when he sat in Bro’s spot on the couch, and slouched down in feigned disinterest as he tried to keep himself calm as he stared at the TV.  
  
He heard the key in the lock turn, and his heart beat faster. It took everything, all that he had not to turn his head and smile as Bro walked in the front door and tossed his ugly pizza delivery hat onto the endtable by the front door.  
  
He knew from Bro’s walk that he was pissed. He walked behind the couch, flicked Dave in the head with a finger, and said   
  
“Kitchen. Now.”  
  
Dave froze. Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, Bro was going to call it all off. He was going to nip this thing in the bud; Dave was going to get a quick and dirty speech about the wrongness of this thing, and it was going to end.  
  
It took every ounce of strength he had to rise from that couch in a calm manner and not show his panic and disappointment on his face. It took all of his self-control to walk calmly into that kitchen and face possibly the worst conversation of his life. It took every bit of willpower he had to stand still, and lean casually against the wall with crossed arms, and look at Bro with a deadpan expression, as if he could care less what he said next.  
  
“What?” he said, amazed at the calmness of the word as it left his lips.  
  
“You failing math?”  
  
Every ounce of tension left Dave in a rush. He sighed audibly and saw Bro notice, but he didn’t care. He uncrossed his arms and let them hang at his sides. Bro wasn’t going to stop this thing. This wasn’t even about that. It was just about fucking school.  
  
“Yeah. So?”  
  
Bro leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.  
  
“So that ain’t happening. You’re getting a math tutor.”  
  
“What?” Dave winced inwardly as he heard the complaint in his own voice. He was off his game. He was still so relieved that Bro wasn’t talking about the other thing…  
  
“You gonna whine about it?”  
  
“No,” he managed to get control of himself.  
  
“Didn’t think so. Besides, you’ll like who I hired.”  
  
Dave raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Mrs. Johansen, your old third grade teacher.”  
  
What? That old coot? Was he serious? All Dave remembered about her was a lot of sore, pinched cheeks and a strange fruity mothball smell.  
  
“Can’t you find someone else?”  
  
“You gonna bitch about everything tonight?”  
  
He heard the edge in Bro’s voice. He heard the tension; and he knew it wasn’t over some shitty grades. Yeah, Bro cared if he was passing school or not; but not to the degree that it would get him worked up. No; Bro was upset about something else. About something else much bigger and far more important.   
  
Dave waited a moment to see if Bro would bring it up, but he didn’t. Dave knew he was failing the challenge; failing the game, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to say something. He had to know if Bro hated him for pushing him too far.  
  
“Did I fuck up last night?” he asked, his voice embarrassingly small and quiet.  
  
“No.”  
  
Dave wasn’t able to hide his sigh of relief. Okay. Okay, so at least Bro wasn’t mad at him for it.  
  
“This,” Bro said quietly, carefully. Dave’s attention hung on his every word. “…has nothing to do with that.”  
  
Wait, what?

Bro wasn’t mad about yesterday? He wasn’t upset with Dave for encouraging him to jerk him off? Dave looked up at his brother and tried to read his face, but for once all he saw was impassive stone. It was clear to him that Bro wasn’t going to offer him any information on the subject Dave actually wanted to talk about. Of course not. No; Bro was going to make Dave lay all his cards on the table first.  
  
Fine. Dave gathered his courage up and forced out the question he was dying to have the answer to.  
  
“Are you going out tonight?”  
  
“Do you want me to?”  
  
Bro’s reply was much too quick. Too eager. As if he’d been waiting for the question. Dave’s heart pounded in his chest and his cheeks flushed. Bro was saying yes. He was asking and saying yes.  
  
“Whatever. I’m not doing anything,” Dave replied, amazed at how calm he was able to keep his voice. He hoped that would show Bro that he was mature enough to handle this. He could fucking handle this.  
  
He saw Bro shift his weight, just a little. Bro never shifted. Ever.  
  
“Cool. Then I’ll probably stick around,” he said, standing up and walking towards the hall. Dave’s pulse was already racing. He barely heard the next thing Bro said. “Just get your math homework done, dude.”  
  
Out of sheer habit, he put on an air of defiance.  
  
“And what happens if I don’t?”  
  
He realized after it left his mouth that he was setting himself up to be told no. For Bro to use his not doing his homework as an excuse to get out of this thing, and his hopes sank. Bro clearly wanted out. He was looking for a way, and Dave just gave it to him.  
  
“Then I guess your Xbox live account will get canceled,” he said, and turned down the hall and went into the bathroom.  
  
Dave stood frozen in shock. Bro hadn’t taken it. He…hadn’t…taken his way out. He…he’d said yes.  _He’d said yes_. Dave slowly sat at the table and stared at it while he heard Bro turn on the water to shower. His pulse was racing, his heart was pounding with excitement and nervousness. He brought his hands up to his forehead and pushed his bangs out of his eyes and rested his forehead in his palms. Holy shit, Bro was going to stay home again tonight. To make out with him. To kiss him, and hold him, and jerk him off.   
  
Holy shit.  
  
Dave was slightly aware of things as he walked into the living room and grabbed his backpack. He didn’t really see anything as he wrote shit on the paper. He barely remembered to put his name at the top, shoved it wrinkled back into his bag, and wandered to the couch, where he sat in his own spot, dazed, nervous and excited all at once.

:::

Bro came out of the shower, grabbed a slice of pizza and a beer, and plopped his ass into his spot on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table like usual. He scoffed at whatever Dave was watching, like always.  
  
"How do they think of this shit?" he said, commenting on a particularly transparent plot twist.  
  
"What? I totally never saw that coming," Dave replied, with as much sarcasm in his voice as he could muster, trying his damnedest to hide how jittery he felt. He tried to look completely relaxed into the couch. Bro didn't look perturbed at all as he took his last bite of pizza and tossed the paper plate onto the coffee table. Nothing on the outside appeared abnormal at all. But Dave could feel the fucking tension; he could feel Bro wanting to make a move. He dared not make a move himself.  
  
"So come here," Bro finally said, jerking his head to the side in gesture. Dave felt his cheeks and ears grow warm. His stomach fluttered as he looked over at his older brother. Bro stretched one leg out on the couch, leaving the other on the floor, and pointed with his head to between his legs.  
  
"Have a seat."  
  
Dave shook as he crawled across the couch, barely remembering to breathe as he nestled himself awkwardly, nervously, into the space between Bro's legs. He felt the warmth of Bro's body against his as Bro wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, resting Dave's back on his chest, as Dave stretched his legs out on the couch. He was already drowning in pleasure; touching Bro this close, this intimately was everything he'd dreamed about all last night, and all today. He could hardly believe it was happening.

His mind lost all interest in the entire rest of the world. All he could feel was the warmth of Bro's chest pressed against his back; Bro's arms wrapped around his stomach; Bro's breath flowing steadily passed his neck. Dave's heart beat heavily in his chest as all of his attention became focused on Bro; on the way Bro's foot was so much farther away than Dave's, on the way their legs lay together, the heat Dave felt on his ass from Bro's crotch. The...hardening lump Dave felt pressing against him there.   
  
Dave's breath stopped when he felt it. He could feel Bro's heart pounding in his chest almost as hard as his own; he could hear Bro's heavy breaths as he moved. He slowly spread his palms across Dave's stomach on the outside of his shirt, his fingers, his hands causing Dave's skin to glow wherever he touched him, even through the cloth.  
  
Dave was in heaven already; he would happily have settled just for this, Bro holding him and stroking his stomach all night. When his palms up his chest and teased his nipples through the cloth, Dave whimpered, heat and nervousness spreading through his skin. All his doubts about how far Bro wanted to take this were gone. Tonight was going to be like last night. They were going to give each other orgasms. Dave's ears flamed at the thought.   
  
Bro then slid his palms down, over Dave's hips, over his thighs, then back up the inside of his legs. Dave shuddered with anticipation, and when he palmed Dave's erection through his jeans he whimpered, his head falling back onto Bro's shoulder. He shook.  
  
"Fff..uck, Bro.." he said, but Bro's only answer was to bend his head to plant his lips on Dave's now exposed throat. Dave gasped as Bro kissed his neck, his skinny fingers grasping the cloth of Bro's jeans in his hands, as Bro increased the pressure of his palm rubbing on Dave's dick. Dave had never felt so hot in his life. It didn't matter how fucked up this was. He didn't fucking care.  
  
Bro brought out his tongue and let it glide over Dave's neck, then up to his ear. He sucked Dave's lobe into his mouth and bit it, and Dave mewled as he felt Bro's hot breath ooze into his ear, making the hairs on his neck stand on end. He felt Bro smirk and bring his hands up to Dave's stomach, sliding them underneath his shirt to caress his bare flesh. He pushed the shirt up to Dave's armpits, and Dave could no longer keep his self control. In an embarrassing wordless confession, he raised his hands above his head, hoping Bro would not leave him hanging, hoping...  
  
Bro's gloved hands were sliding up his bare stomach, over his naked chest, to pull his shirt up and over his head. It fell, tossed unwanted into a heap on the floor, and Dave's head spun as he watched Bro do the unthinkable. He heard the snaps as they popped, and his eyes stared, disbelieving, as Bro took off his gloves.  
  
He ran his uncalloused palms over Dave's bare chest, teasing and pinching his nipples as Dave squirmed and bit his own lip with his teeth as pleasure danced over his skin.  
  
Bro curved himself around and leaned down to crush his lips over Dave's, shoving his tongue deep into his mouth. Dave moaned helplessly. Oh God, Bro, this feels so fucking good, do you know how good this feels? He tasted Bro on his tongue, smelled his breath as it washed over his face and drowned him, and Bro could have him any way he wanted; he would surrender everything.  
  
Bro's hands wandered back down to the top of Dave's jeans, where his fingers undid the button and zipper in seconds. His hand was in Dave's pants immediately, rubbing him through his boxers, and Dave whined into his lips. Bro raised his hips to press his own erection against Dave's ass. A choked, gaspy moan escaped from Dave's throat as things were happening to him that he'd never felt before; this was even more intense than yesterday, because the uncertainty, the guilt Bro had been feeling seemed to be gone. Now, he was just going straight for what he wanted- and what he wanted was Dave's dick.

He slid his fingers into the waistband of Dave's boxers and pulled them and his jeans down at the same time. Dave's heart leapt nearly into his throat as he was exposed faster than he'd anticipated. The cool air danced over his hot skin, electrifying it, setting his body on tensed edge.  
  
With one hand, Bro cupped Dave's balls and with the other he stroked his dick, teasing it, playing with it, caressing its head. Dave squirmed and whimpered and keened, his breaths coming ragged and heavy, his fingers clutching the cloth of Bro's jeans with white knuckles.  
  
"Fuck, Bro, you're moving so fast," he whispered, his vision blurring with heat and pleasure.  
  
"Is that a problem?" Bro said, his lips brushing against Dave's ear as he spoke in a low, lustful voice.  
  
"Nnnno!" Dave shouted, as Bro ran his thumb over the opening in Dave's cock. "No, dammit, don't fucking stop!"  
  
Bro grabbed Dave's shaft with his right hand and started to pump him. Dave's world shrank to become just Bro, only Bro; the pleasure that pulsed through him was so intense he felt like he was going blind. Bro, Bro, holy shit, you're doing it again; you're fucking my dick with your hand, oh God, oh yes, oh yes oh yes oh yes oh...  
  
Bro pulled his hand away. Dave's eyes flew open wide.  
  
"Go back go back go back!" Dave cried, in desperation, his voice loud and pleading as he panted, his chest heaving. Bro moved his hands up to Dave's stomach and he tickled it with his fingers.  
  
"In a minute," Bro said, and Dave screamed in frustration.  
  
"What the fuck?"  
  
"I know what I'm fucking doing. Just trust me."  
  
Dave panted in his arms, frustrated and confused and slightly hurt. Was Bro mocking him? Toying with him? Why the fuck would he stop? Was he changing his mind? Dave started to panic inwardly, and the heat left his dick. It started to get a little softer.  
  
And then Bro's hand was back, his fingers wrapping around his dick with long, firm strokes, even and calculated until Dave was hard and purple and aching with want. He felt the pressure rising, the pleasure pulsing, the heat growing until he felt that tightness in his balls that meant he was about to... Bro pulled his away again. Dave bucked the air and whined, not giving the slightest fuck what he looked like.  
  
"BRO WHAT THE HELL."  
  
Bro smirked.  
  
"Totally impatient, inexperienced virgin. You're lucky I'm here to teach you this shit, or you'd totally embarrass yourself. You're so uncool right now no level of irony can even save you."  
  
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK."  
  
Bro only smirked, and Dave's heart leapt into his throat at how sexy it was. Dave wanted to turn around and crush his lips to his, suck his tongue into his mouth and lick his hot, sexy lips forever. Instead he forced himself to remain still; Bro was completely in control of this situation and Dave knew better than to challenge him. If Dave made a single move on his own- if he so much as tried to take control for half of a second, he knew Bro would get up and leave him. It would all be over; and Dave was not about to do _anything_  that would risk this being over.  
  
Bro leaned forward and pulled his own shirt over his head, without disturbing his hat or his shades. Dave felt the warmth of his naked, toned chest press against his bare back, and he sank gratefully against his bare skin. Bro ran his hands over his chest, pressing their bodies together so that Dave could feel how hard both of their hearts were pounding.  
  
Dave held his breath as his older brother slid his palm over his pelvis and began to rub his dick again. By now Dave's lust was incredible; he'd never felt so turned on and desperate in his life. He was pathetically hard and purple after just a few strokes; and he was aware of Bro's game now, but shamelessly humped his hand anyway, trying to go off before he pulled it away. He didn't succeed. When Bro pulled away for the third time, he screamed in frustrated agony.  
  
"Fucking dammit!" he cried, humiliated and frustrated as Bro toyed with him, as he always toyed with him; but now it was even worse than usual. Couldn't Bro cut him some slack, at least when they were in the middle of sex?

Bro slid away and turned so that he hovered over him. Dave looked up into his face, sweating, panting, and desperate enough to agree to whatever it was Bro wanted to do to him.  _Bro, I'm already fucking yours, stop playing with me just take what you want just take it._  
  
"That," Bro began, his voice velvet and husky; a tone that two days ago Dave had never heard before and decided he would never get enough of, "...is called edging. You use it to make your partner desperate. Do it right, and they'll do whatever the fuck you want."  
  
Fuck you, Bro, I'm already desperate, I'm already yours; I've always been yours I just want you to be mine stop showing off I already know how awesome you are just  _fucking touch me_.  
  
Bro smirked as Dave glared at him, and Dave became a helpless puddle under the gaze of that incredibly sensual expression. Bro reached up and wrapped his fingers into Dave's hair, tilting his head back, and Dave let him move his body however he wanted. Bro lowered his lips to Dave's neck and started to lick his throat in long, slow strokes, making Dave whimper and squirm at the heat that sang through his skin. He had lost all of his cool a long time ago, and he did not give a single fuck.  
  
Bro's tongue traveled over his shoulder, over his chest and down to his stomach. Bro slid his hands down Dave's body, sending pulses of electric fire across his skin everywhere that Bro's fingertips touched him. Bro's long, teasing licks traveled lower, down to Dave's stomach, then to his pelvis, then...  
  
Dave froze as he realized where this was going. He could do nothing to hide his simultaneous fear and anticipation. Bro's hands slid down to his hips, his pinky fingers slipping around to press against his ass cheeks as his tongue slid shamelessly too low.  
  
"Lesson number two," Bro said. "Pay attention."  
  
Dave's brain went haywire as it could not process what was happening to him. Moist heat surrounded the tip of his dick as Bro took it into his mouth and holy shit holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck Bro's got my dick in his mouth and he's licking it oh wow it feels so good, so fucking good, Bro, Bro, why are you doing this to me, fuck, don't ever stop don't ever stop don't...  
  
 _Holy fuck_. Without warning Bro opened his mouth and took Dave's entire dick inside of him, surrounding him, swallowing him, taking him into the moist heat. Dave felt Bro's lips press against his pelvis as he felt his tip bury deep into the softness that was the back of Bro's mouth; his tongue pressed against it and _moving_ , stroking him, teasing him, and then  _oh God_ , he was  _sucking_  and Dave shamelessly was humping upwards into Bro's mouth and it became too much, it was all too much and Dave felt the pleasure spill over the top.   
  
Dave heard himself scream, and he was cumming, he was cumming into his brother's mouth and they were both loving every second of it, holy shit, Bro, I'm yours forever, take me, take me, I love you, I'm yours.  
  
After he was finished, Bro pulled himself off of Dave, sucking  _hard_ , not letting a single drop escape from between his lips as Dave's softening dick was released. Bro looked Dave straight in the eyes and unhesitatingly swallowed it all, his Adam's apple bobbing exactly once before his tongue darted out to lick his lips with pleasure.  
  
"Holy  _shit_ ," Dave said. He was in over his head. This was more than he'd ever, ever bargained for. Holy fucking shit; Bro  _wanted_  him. Bro was taking him. Bro was  _having sex with him. Again_.  
  
"I'm the best there is. It couldn't be helped."  
  
Dave didn't reply. His mind wasn't in a position capable enough for forming words. He could only stare as Bro rose to his feet, and when he raised his hands to undo his belt Dave's breath quickened and his ears grew hot. He slipped his fingers inside the waist band of his jeans and boxers together, and they fell to the floor with a thud.

Dave had no coolness left in him to stop him from staring at Bro's dick. He'd seen it and touched it yesterday, but somehow now with Bro standing up, it appeared even bigger, and he blushed heavily. He'd seen dicks that size online but had never considered that a real, non-porn star person would have one that big. Maybe that was just normal, grown-man size; he didn't even know. He'd never seen any but his own in real life. And he knew that Bro knew this.  
  
"I hope you were paying attention," Bro said, in perfect control of his voice, whereas Dave couldn't even find his. Nervousness flew through his body as Bro stepped closer to him.  
  
"Sit up."  
  
Oh my God oh my God oh my God, fuck, fuck, fuck. Dave's entire body shook as he rose to his knees, naked himself except for his pants down around his ankles, his own dick appearing tiny, like a baby's, even though he told himself it wasn't a fair comparison because he wasn't even hard. He could not tear his gaze away from Bro's cock; his curiosity, his awe, his desire all drawing his attention to it.  
  
He felt Bro's palms on his face; his hands covering his cheeks, holding Dave in place as he stepped closer.  
  
"You gonna return the favor, now?"  
  
It was a question. Dave's heart raced with fear and want. He knew it was a question, not a command. He could say no. Bro wouldn't rag on him for it; not this time; not for this; and he knew it. He didn't have to. He wasn't even sure if he could  _fit_  that monstrous thing in his mouth.  
  
"I'm gonna suck at it," Dave said.  
  
"Damn right you are," Bro replied, his sentence just another play on words, just another joke of sarcasm like he always spoke.  
  
Then Bro did a strange thing. He slid his thumb across Dave's cheek; and the gesture was so gentle, so tender, so  _loving_  that Dave felt his fear melt away. Whatever else was going on here; whatever else was fucked up between them, Bro  _loved_  him. He felt it in the way his palms rested on his cheeks; he felt it in that gesture of his thumb; Bro loved him, and this was the only time he ever showed it the way Dave wanted him to; the way Dave needed him to.   
  
When they were getting down and dirty, when Bro was this turned on, when he was this  _desperate_ \- he let his guard down. He forgot to put up his wall. He let Dave see through to his real feelings, just a little.  
  
Dave wanted more. Without any more hesitation, he reached up and wrapped his fingers firmly around the base of Bro's huge dick, and sucked the tip of it into his mouth.  
  
"Uhn," Bro groaned, the sound absolutely genuine as his guard fell completely down. The sound made Dave smile, which made his teeth close around Bro's dick behind the head.  
  
"Uh, dude, watch the teeth," he said. He was still able to form words, but the cool in his voice was completely gone. His words came airy and heavy, and Dave tried his best to open his mouth farther but he couldn't stop from trying to smile. He had Bro. He had him, the real him, coolness tossed to the side in an unwanted heap along with their shirts.

"Cover them with your lips," Bro said, and Dave's heart raced as he tried to comply; oh God he was sucking his brother off and he was teaching him how to do it and fuck, this was hot. Fuck, was it ever. Dave opened his mouth farther, his jaw clicking open as far as it would go as he slid his lips another half-inch down Bro's length.  
  
Bro moaned. Dave's heart flew up into his throat with excitement as he heard Bro make that sound because of  _him_. And then Bro's hands were on the back of his head, stroking his hair, and he could hardly believe this was happening.  
  
"Come on, just like I showed you," Bro said, his voice ragged and desperate; his cock hard and purple and huge in Dave's mouth. Dave sealed his lips around Bro's shaft, just behind the head, and sucked. Bro groaned heavily and pushed his hands against the back of Dave's head as he shoved his dick far into Dave's mouth.  
  
Dave felt Bro's cock force his mouth open and ram into the back of his throat. His tongue reflexively tried to stop it, but it was weak against Bro's forcefulness. Dave felt his air get cut off just as hot, salty liquid poured into his mouth. He gagged and then Bro was gone, completely pulled out of him as he coughed and coughed, wheezing and trying not to inhale the cum as he gasped for air.  
  
Bro wasn't even finished when he pulled out. His cum squirted onto Dave's chin and chest and dribbled down his neck. It got on the floor too as Bro pulled back and sat heavily on the coffee table, in the same moment Dave fell into the couch, sinking into it as he forced himself to stop coughing.   
  
He swallowed the cum that was in his mouth. It was kind of a nasty flavor, he thought; all salt and bodily-fluid tasting; but the thought of what it was made him hot all the same. He wiped it off his chin and mouth with the back of his arm.   
  
"Fuck," he said, embarrassed now that the hotness was wearing off.  
  
"Not too bad," Bro said. "Except for that major fail at the end."  
  
Fuck you, Bro. Why do you always have to be such an ass?   
  
"Yeah, well. I mean, it tastes really salty," Dave said, and immediately wanted to kick himself for such a lame-ass line.   
  
"You get used to it," he said. Dave's eyes rose up to search his brother's face. He was talking like he'd sucked off lots of guys before. Dave knew that Bro was bisexual, and he knew that he had sex with both guys and girls, but he'd never pictured Bro to be the one to go down on somebody. He'd always imagined Bro on top; cooler, bigger, stronger than whoever the hell he was with.  
  
"Have you...uh...um..." Dave stuttered, his cheeks flushing as he completely made a fool of himself.  
  
"Just spit it out, kid."  
  
Fuck, he was going to make him say it? Fuck.  
  
"You've sucked off a lot of guys?"  
  
Bro shrugged.  
  
"A few."   
  
Holy shit.  
  
"You're damn good at it," he replied, trying to hide his surprise.   
  
"I'm good at everything."

Dave paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Trying to think of how to tell Bro that he'd really, really liked what had just happened. A lot. That he wanted to do this again; to be with Bro again, like this, this close. And to get another chance to blow him, to do it right. He knew he could get it right if he had practice.  
  
"You're gonna teach me to be as good as you, right?"  
  
"Shit, Dave," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you know how fucked up this is?"  
  
"So?"  
  
He hadn't meant to be so forthcoming and straightforward with it, but oh well. There it was, on the table. Dave fucking liked this, and wanted more.  
  
"Shit," was Bro's reply. "Shit."  
  
Bro didn't say anything after that. He didn't say that they'd be doing this again...but then, he didn't say they wouldn't be, either. He rose and pulled his pants on, and so Dave felt he should cover himself, too. He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over his lap, trying not to get too much cum on it.  
  
Bro wasn't talking. He was just standing, staring, lost in his thoughts, and Dave wanted to make it absolutely clear that he wanted more of this.  
  
"It was still hot."  
  
" _Fuck_ , Dave."  
  
Bro looked at where he knew Dave's eyes were through his shades. Dave did his best to not look like the desperate child he felt like, the wanna be little brother. He put on his best coolface, trying to show Bro he was old enough, mature enough for this.   
  
Bro didn't say anything. He walked around the couch and headed into the kitchen.  
  
"You want a soda?"  
  
Dave inhaled. Okay. Okay; he wasn't saying yes, but he wasn't saying no, either. He was staying undecided about this thing. Again. Maybe he really did think Dave was old enough for this kind of thing. He decided to test it.  
  
"Can I have a beer?"  
  
"Fuck no."  
  
Dammit.  
  
"But I just fucking sucked you off."  
  
"Right back at you. We're even, little bro."  
  
 _Little bro_. Dave gave a sigh of defeat.  
  
"Yeah, get me a soda."   
  
Bro vanished into the kitchen, and Dave took the opportunity to put his pants on. Bro returned and tossed the can of soda to Dave as he plopped his ass down in his spot on the couch, completely casually, as if everything was absolutely normal.  
  
Dave realized slowly that he wasn't running off to hide in his room this time. He was staying with him; continuing to spend time with him. Dave wanted to crawl across the couch and snuggle up against Bro's side, the way he'd done when he was younger; but he knew Bro wouldn't want that. But that was okay. Left alone after sex like last night he couldn't handle; but other side of the couch he could deal with. It was close enough. Bro was home, and with him, and  _not_  out with anybody else...and it was enough. Dave would take whatever pieces of his brother he could get.

 


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's point of view from [Not Allowed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520188).
> 
> Corresponds to [this section](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520563).

Dave was in a daze the next day. His mind could do nothing but replay what had happened between him and Bro over the last few days, and it wasn’t like he wanted to stop thinking about it, either. He already knew there was nothing he could do about the boner he was going to have, so he just did his best to hide it by not slouching quite so much in class.

In his mind, Bro was rising to his feet. Reaching for his fly. Sliding down the zipper while Dave was on his knees, his face inches from his dick as Bro’s pants fell to the floor. Then it was in his mouth, huge and full while drool escaped from the corners of Dave’s lips…

“Dave!” John’s voice shattered his thoughts and he snapped his head up to look at his best friend. “Are you okay? You seem kinda…foggy.”

Shit. If fucking _John_ noticed, then that meant it was obvious to everyone.

“Just…thinking about stuff,” Dave replied, and John’s mouth closed and he turned his face away awkwardly, and Dave’s heart sank.

_I wasn’t thinking about you this time._ But he couldn’t say that, of course; because first, it would be admitting that he _had_ been thinking about John other times, and also, then John would ask him what he _was_ thinking about, and he couldn’t exactly say that, either.

So he let John think Dave was having wild, sexual fantasies about him, and he watched his best friend turn his back to him to talk to Vriska. He felt that same dull, aching pain in his chest that he didn’t know how to fix, so he let his mind go back to the foggy haze it had been in earlier, ignoring the world around him as he dreamed about sucking his brother’s cock.

He still couldn’t believe this was happening to him. That this thing, which had happened three times now, was real. Fuck, was he counting? He was. He was counting the number of times he and Bro had gotten sexual. No, he was _not_ that lame. No, he did _not_ suddenly feel like drawing swords again all over the back page of his notebook. He hadn’t drawn swords in years, not since grade school. But fuck, there they were, crammed into all the spaces between his SBAHJ sketches (which were always too quality and had to be shittified when he drew them on his computer).

He was drawing fucking swords and Rose was looking over his fucking shoulder. He slammed his notebook shut. Which probably tipped her off that yes, there was something he was hiding. He had something to hide. Something huge. Something that no one could ever, ever know about. The realization of that slowly crept up on him like the legs of an insect, making the fuzzy glow of his thoughts fade as the wrongness of it leaked into his mind. He couldn’t let her find out. He couldn’t let anyone find out.

It wasn’t like he wanted to run off and start yammering away about how in love he was with his new boyfriend. He was fine with not talking about it. Sure. A kid could fall in love and keep it to himself. But this was more than that. This was more than people wondering if he had the hots for somebody, and them asking him, and him denying it. No. That already would be too much; Rose would fucking guess; she knew him too well. She’d figure it out. He had to play it so that nobody would even ask.

Dave suddenly felt incredibly transparent. She had to know. Even John had noticed a change in his behavior, and what the fuck was he doing, acting all different like that? He was a fucking Strider. He knew fucking better. Dammit.

He inspected his own poker face to make sure it was in place, and took solace in the fact that it was. No expression. Just like he was taught. Perfect for keeping secrets.

Secrets that absolutely, under all circumstances, had to be kept.

Dave stopped drawing swords in the back of his notebook. He went back to drawing SBAHJ. None of them came out good; his sense of humor was still way off, but that didn’t matter. Rose stopped looking over his shoulder, but he knew that she knew _something_.

To her credit, Rose didn’t press him on the matter. She got the message that he wanted to be left alone, and she left him the fuck alone.

He dragged his ass through the rest of the day, ignoring the pain in his chest every time John looked quickly away from him, and dulled the ache with memories of Bro; Bro wanting him, Bro needing him. He didn’t need John. Not when he had Bro. And he had Bro; yes. Yes, Bro totally wanted him. Definitely.

When he got home, there was a note.

_Got a gig tonight. Be home late. Cash for Chinese in microwave._

Dave stared at the note and his heart sank. Looking forward to being with Bro had been what had gotten him through the day- and now he no longer had that.

Bro was going out again. Dave looked down and realized how hard he was clutching the note, until it was an unrecognizable crumple of paper in his hand. As if he could hold onto Bro by holding onto that. As if he could keep Bro from going out. His heart twisted more at the idea, and inwardly, he yelled at himself.

Bro _had_ to go out; he was a DJ; it was his fucking job. If he didn’t play gigs, then they couldn’t pay rent. It didn’t mean he was going back to his old life of staying out every night to fuck some different person. It didn’t mean that.

It didn’t mean it.

Suddenly having no appetite whatsoever, Dave found himself wandering back to his room. And then past his room. What the fuck was he doing? There was nothing past his door but Bro’s door. He definitely wasn’t opening Bro’s door. He definitely wasn’t stepping into Bro’s room- Bro would fucking know. He’d sense the carpet fibers had been moved out of place and Dave would get his ass handed to him on the fucking roof again. He hadn’t gone in Bro’s room since he was five, or something.

He stopped in the middle of the room and paused to look around. He’d forgotten to turn on the light, so he lifted his shades to rest on top of his head and waited for his shitty eyes to adjust. It looked just like it always had; unmade full-sized bed, desk covered in smuppets with a computer buried under them, shelves and shelves of records and CDs. His DJ gear was all missing, the permanent indentation of the carpet showing where it usually sat, and Dave felt a rush of relief. He hadn’t really expected Bro to be lying; but seeing the evidence of his telling the truth about where he was made him feel better anyway.

He sighed and inhaled, and the smell of Bro filled his lungs. He grew weak in his knees. He inhaled deeply and felt his heart start to race. Yes, fuck, Bro turned him the fuck on. And he turned Bro on. It wasn’t a speculation or a guess; it was a fact that he’d gotten to experience, three times now. He closed his eyes and was replaying last night for the millionth time; Bro pulling him close to his chest, Bro being a dick as he teased him and sucked him and made him feel _amazing_.

Dave turned to look at Bro’s bed. He wondered, after everything that had happened, if Bro would mind if he crawled into it while Bro was out. Just to keep him company. He’d fall asleep in it, like he’d done when he was little, waiting for Bro to come home. And then they’d make out again. Have sex again. Dave’s ears burned hot now, that he was no longer at school and no longer had to hide it. It made him remember how hard he had to fucking hide it. All fucking day. Because this was fucked up.

This was fucked up. Bro knew that; it clearly bothered him. Why couldn’t Dave remember that? Why did all of this seem fine to him? _Was_ he too young, too fucking impressionable, too emotionally immature to properly understand the situation? Probably. That was probably part of it. But fuck, however immature Dave was, Bro was worse. _He_ was the one that had started this thing. Dave just…hadn’t stopped him. Because he didn’t want to. At all.

Dave’s mind was back on last night _again_. Thinking about it was like a drug that he couldn’t stop using. It made him feel so fucking _good_. Bro’s hands on him. Bro’s lips on him. Bro wanting him. Bro needing him. Not anyone else. _Him_.

Dave looked at the place in the carpet where Bro’s DJ equipment wasn’t, and admitted to himself that he felt _jealous_. Not of Bro. He didn’t want to have what Bro had. He was jealous of _them_. Of all of them; of all the lovers Bro had had, of all the people who had gotten to be with him, feel his hands on them, have his dick in them.

Dave’s head was swimming as he sank to his knees. He had it bad. Really, really, really bad. He rested his head on the top of the low bookshelf in front of him and shut his eyes. This was a thing that was happening, and he was in over his head. He knew that if Bro backed out now- if he stayed out tonight with someone else, his heart would break. He hated himself for sounding so weak, so pathetic, but it was true. He tried to tell himself it wasn’t. But when he tried to think about Bro staying out late, sleeping with someone else…he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Bro wouldn’t do that to him. He was a jerk, not an asshole. He wouldn’t do it.

Dave opened his eyes and found himself gazing at the line of records that was in front of him. He wound up staring at one of his and Bro’s favorites; one that he’d begged to use a hundred times. He reached down, pulled it out of the sleeve and stood up. He had to do something with all of these feelings, and this was perfect. He rose to his feet and walked out, not particularly caring if Bro realized he’d been in his room. If Dave really was his lover, then he should be allowed in his room. He should be allowed to touch Bro’s stuff; he should be allowed to touch Bro. If they were fucking in love- which Dave fucking hoped they were- then they should be allowed to be together, fuck the rules.

He got back to his room and was suddenly inspired with rap lyrics. He grabbed his music notebook and started scribbling away, the words coming fairly easily. A few lines appeared, and they were okay, but he knew he needed a beat for inspiration. He jammed on his headphones and put the record on, cranking up the volume high enough to drown out everything else; Rose’s accusing eyes, John’s cold ones, all the people Bro had slept with, all the people at school, all the people who would judge them; everyone. He drowned them out with the music and played his fucking fingers raw, until his joints ached, until it was so fucking late at night that he started to fall asleep on his feet.

He didn’t look at the clock when he crawled into his bed. His alarm was already set for school and he didn’t want to know what time it was. He told himself it was only two am, totally normal hours for Bro to still be out; parties always lasted this late. Bro would come home tonight. He would. When Dave woke up in the morning to go to school, he’d be there. He would.

In the morning, Dave stumbled out of bed and got ready for school in his usual blurry haze. He didn’t check Bro’s room to see if he was in it. He needed him to be in it. He couldn’t take it if he wasn’t. So he didn’t check.

But on his way out the door, he glanced down and saw Bro’s sneakers tossed against the wall. His shoes were here. _He_ was here. He’d come home last night.

Dave’s heart swelled against the restraints he’d tried to put on it and practically beat right out of his chest. He fought against his mouth to keep it from smiling. He could do nothing about his eyes, but he had his shades for that. The bus came and he held it together for the ten steps it took him to get to his seat and then he leaned against the window, not interested at all in anyone else, and his fucking mouth wouldn’t stop trying to upturn the entire fucking way to school.

Bro had come fucking home.

________________________________________________

Dave stared at the dead fish on the dissection tray, its skin cut open and it’s guts displayed in front of him in a horrifying fashion. He wrinkled his nose for half a second before catching himself making a facial expression. He pressed his mouth into a thin line as John dove in with the scalpel, happily cutting away.

“I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that.” Dave said.

“What? It totally is. I’m following the directions.” John replied. Dave glanced over at the “directions,” a ditto the teacher had passed out that was now covered in fish…goo. He looked over at the other teams and saw much more neatly-dissected fish, little organs plopped on Petri dishes for the teacher to grade .

“Almost got it…almost…” John said. “Hey, Dave, can you hold this part open?” he asked, indicating a flap of the fish’s skin, offering the handle of the tweezers that gripped it to Dave. He reached out to take it, not even thinking, and for a moment his hand was enclosed around John’s fingers before he let go. He immediately felt a blush rise to his cheeks against his will, and suddenly was aware of how close he was to John. He turned his head slightly so he could see John’s face, concentrating hard with his tongue stuck between his teeth, splotches of fish guts on his glasses, perfect black hair in a ruffled mess.

His best friend, perfect and awesome, everything he’d ever wanted in life. He felt emotions rising to the surface, that familiar feeling of _good_ that he got from being near John, that he’d always gotten from John, but now it came with a dose of pain that he couldn’t get rid of. Because now he had a name for that feeling. Now he knew what it was. And he wasn’t supposed to feel it. John didn’t feel the same.

“Got it!” John declared triumphantly, yanking some squishy piece of fish organ up with the tweezers. “I’m the king of science.”

“Hey, it was a team effort, here.” Dave said. “Don’t forget to credit your nurse, doc.”

John laughed and lifted up a hand for a high-five. Dave glowed, in ways he knew he shouldn’t, but he didn’t care. At least John was somewhat talking to him again; the dissection lab had forced them to be together, since trading lab partners halfway through the school year would have caused more trouble than either of them wanted to deal with. But it was turning out to be good. They at least had something to talk about; even if the thing was a dead fish.

“Oh, _no_! Terezi, you _didn’t_!” Vriska’s annoyed voice shrieked next to them, making Dave rub his ear in fake annoyance.

John turned to face Vriska, making his back face Dave.

“Vrisk, what’s the matter?” he asked.

“Terezi squished the heart, now it’s an unrecognizable mess! We’re going to lose points!”

Terezi cackled and licked her lips.

“That’s what you get for copying off my history test. Serves you right.”

“But now we’ll _both_ lose points! I can’t afford to lose points, I have to be the best! I’m going to be valedictorian and you’re not going to stand in my way! John, give me your heart.” she said, brushing her long black hair over her shoulder and giving him a cute face that was clearly meant to be manipulative.

Dave snorted. Of course John wouldn’t give Vriska…

He watched as John turned around and picked up a Petri dish with a red gooey thing on it. Dave’s face turned cold and his stomach knotted.

“Wait, John, you’re not seriously going to…”

“Come on, Dave. It’s not like you care about our grade.”

“I don’t, I just…”

John turned his back on him again and handed the gooey mess over to Vriska, who squealed with delight.

“Joooooooohn, you are just the best! He’s the best, Terezi. Aww, just look at that cute smile! John you are the sweetest thing.”

Vriska leaned forward quickly and gave John a peck on the cheek, leaving a bluish smudge from her lipstick there.

“Heh heh, you’re welcome.” John said softly. He turned back to face the fish and Dave saw the blush in his cheeks. Saw the redness in his ears. His stomach grew tight with jealousy and his heart became cold from betrayal.

“Dude…you could have at least asked me before giving my fucking heart away.”

“Your heart?” John said, looking up at him, his perfect face genuinely confused. A heavy blush rose to Dave’s face and he lowered his head, burying his face on the disgusting science lab table, covering it with his hands.

“Fuck.” Dave said, his voice muffled. John’s voice stuttered as he tried to speak.

“Dave, I…oh, right. You’re, uh, g…that, um…uh…”

John fumbled for words and Dave only grew more embarrassed. His eyes grew hot and he stood up abruptly.

“Mr. Stanson, I think I’m gonna vomit from all this gross fish.” Dave said weakly. Everyone turned to stare at him, and he hoped the redness in his face would be interpreted as his being sick, not heartbroken and ready to cry. Because he definitely as fuck was not about to do that.

“Well get to the bathroom, hurry up.” the teacher said, and nobody said much, because this lab had already caused a few other people to get sick.

Dave absconded out of there with all the ninja speed Bro had taught him, opting for the bathroom in the library that no one ever used. He locked himself in a stall and sat on top of the toilet tank, his feet on the gross seat so if anyone came in, they wouldn’t recognize his shoes. He shoved his shades on top of his head and clutched his arms around his chest like a fucking girl, and made absolutely certain that his sobs were perfectly silent.

He couldn’t be mad at John. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was still being a good friend, even, in keeping Dave’s secret; in not being an asshole to him, or at least not one on purpose. Dave couldn’t ask John not to like girls; he knew he couldn’t; he knew that none of this was either of their fault but fuck that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Dave tried to tell himself that he hadn’t lost anything, so he had nothing to cry over. They were still friends. They were still best friends, just like they always were.

They were just friends.

They would never be anything more. John would never want him. John would never look at him and get red flushed cheeks the way he did for Vriska. John would never feel what he felt when their hands touched, when their legs brushed at the lunch table; it didn’t mean the same thing, it would never mean the same thing. John loved him, sure; he knew that- but it felt like an empty, hollow kind of love compared to Dave’s. Platonic love. Like brothers.

Like brothers.

Dave thought about Bro. He couldn’t think about John anymore; he needed something else, and Bro was definitely that. _Bro_ wanted him. Bro held him, kissed him, made him feel good…made him feel _amazing_. And he knew Bro loved him, in his weird, complicated way, but… _how_ did he love him?

Was it still just brotherly love, with sex on the side? Or was he in love with him? Did Bro see him as a brother with benefits, or as something more? They hadn’t seen each other last night and Dave was less sure about his feelings now; he wasn’t sure what Bro wanted and he didn’t know where this thing between them was going. He wasn’t even sure that it _should_ go anywhere. Just how fucked up was Dave, anyway, that he was so desperate to be with someone that he’d go for his own _brother_? Really, Dave? Is that the best you can do?

The bell rang and Dave forced himself to pull together. He blew his nose and waited a moment for his cheeks to lose their color. He shoved his shades back down over his eyes and sauntered back to his biology class to grab his backpack. He was five minutes late to math, but he really didn’t give a fuck.

When he reached into his bag to get a pencil, he found a note.  
“Dave. I know stuff is complicated but we’re still best friends, okay? Please talk to me after school. I’m tired of us not talking. Love John.”

Dave crushed the note in his palm and shoved it into his pocket. His heart was numb. He stared ahead at the chalkboard and let the teacher’s monotone voice numb his brain, too. He didn’t want to think about anything, he didn’t want to feel anything. He sure as fuck didn’t want to _talk_ about anything. He shoved his ear buds in his ears and cranked up the volume on his ipod. He got detention for that. He didn’t give a fuck.

___________________________________________________________________

 

Dave came home and tossed his backpack against the wall without breaking his stride by a hair. He walked towards his room, fully intending to bury himself in the gutters of the internet, making shitty comics as he blasted his own sick beats into his ears. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone; least of all John. He wasn’t even going to log on to Pesterchum, fuck that noise.

He had just started to get into a groove, making strings of shitty SBAHJ comics, when Bro tapped him on the shoulder. A jolt ran through his body with a rush of adrenaline as he prepared to draw his sword. A second later his brain caught up with the situation and saw Bro wasn’t looking for a strife- and then a different kind of excitement rushed through him. He pulled his headphones off but before he could take the feeling any further, Bro said

“Mrs. Johansen’s here to teach you math shit.”

“Fuck,” Dave said. He did _not_ want to deal with this right now.

“Watch your mouth, Davey,” Bro said, and he flicked Dave’s ear before he flashstepped out and was gone.

Dave shuffled into the living room to be greeted by a chubby woman with grey hair that he barely remembered.

“Davey! How good to see you again!” she said, and Dave turned his head to glare in Bro’s direction as she gave him an annoying squeeze. Bro smirked, gave him a thumbs up and vanished into his room, leaving Dave alone with his math tutor.

“Now have a seat, and why don’t we start with you showing me what you learned today in class.” she said, sitting down at the kitchen table, which Dave noticed was magically wiped off and clean all of a sudden.  
He kept his expression deadpan throughout the lesson, though he honestly was concentrating as much as he could. He wanted to distract himself from all the other thoughts trying to buzz around in his head, and paying attention to math was certainly distraction enough. He actually thought he was starting to understand some of it, too; by the end he was feeling a little more confident because fuck, some of this bullshit made sense.

“Davey, I’m very proud of you. You’ve picked up on a lot of topics from just this one lesson! I can’t wait to see what kind of progress we make next week.”

“Yeah,” he said, and she rose, all smiles and annoying. He followed her to the door and let her out, sighing heavily when she left. He let his careful poker face fall to something more relaxed, slumped onto the couch, and turned on some bullshit show.

Five minutes hadn’t even passed when Bro was back, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, as if he didn’t care. But all Dave could remember was the last time he’d been sitting on the couch like this and Bro was standing like that- and what had happened after. His cheeks blushed just a little and his eartips grew warm.

“So how’d it go?” Bro asked. Dave concentrated on his breathing, trying to keep himself calm. He knew Bro didn’t give a fuck about how his math lessons went. He was asking something else. Was he asking for sex again?

Dave played all of his feelings down as much as he possibly could. He didn’t want to seem too eager in case that wasn’t what Bro was after.

“Fine,” he said.

“I heard you saying some pretty mathematical shit, back there.”

Dave snorted.

“Two plus two is four, dude.”

Bro snickered, and Dave’s heart felt warm just from that. He loved his brother’s sense of humor. It was perfect, just like all of him was perfect. Dave’s cheeks flushed further. Yeah, he had it bad. Really bad.

“Well I gotta get ready to go out.”

“Yeah.”

Dave waited to see if there would be more. If Bro would say anything else, or do anything else. After nothing had happened between them last night, Dave was starting to feel afraid that whatever had gone down between them was over. That Bro was tired of him, or had come to his senses; he wasn’t sure which would be worse.

He turned to leave, and Dave’s heart couldn’t take being abandoned one more time today. His mouth opened up without his permission.

“How late you staying out?” he asked, immediately blushing with shame at his display of obvious desperation for attention. He knew he wasn’t hiding a damn thing from Bro with a line like that.

“Dunno. I’ll see what I feel like.”

Dave’s heart plummeted into his stomach. He wasn’t interested in him anymore. It was over. This thing between them, whatever it was, had been just another fling to Bro, and now he was done. The excitement was gone and Dave was no longer interesting, and Bro was trying to let him down easy.

It took every ounce of training Dave had not to crack into a billion pieces right then.

“Whatever,” he said, letting Bro hear the disappointment in his voice, letting his emotion show through more than he knew he should, as one last desperate attempt to get more of what they’d had. To get more of Bro’s attention. To feel more of being wanted by somebody.

Bro said nothing. He turned and left, and Dave’s heart sank to the floor and shattered; half of the cracks with John’s name on them, and the other half with Bro’s. He heard Bro get into the shower and he simply fell over on the couch, staring blankly at the TV with one eye, the other buried into the cushions.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's point of view from [Not Allowed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520188).
> 
> Corresponds to [this section](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323036/chapters/520585).

Bro came out later and left silently, not a word in Dave’s direction, and he knew he’d fucked up. He’d asked for too much, and now Bro was backing away again, seeking more distance. Dave stared at the TV for a long fucking time, not moving, just breathing. He lay until his stomach grumbled, and eventually forced himself up to get some dinner.

He swallowed down the reheated pizza in four or five bites, standing at the kitchen counter, not bothering to sit. He then shuffled off to his room, because at least it was less lonely in there, because it was a place where Bro’s absence was normal. Out of sheer habit, and clearly not thinking about what he was doing at all, he sat at his computer and signed on to Pesterchum.

EB: dave!

Dave’s heart, which was stupid and didn’t care much about facts, leapt with joy at seeing John’s handle. Then his brain caught up with the situation and he let his feelings plummeted again, settling into the pool of misery that he was determined to wallow in today.

TG: sup

EB: how are you feeling?

TG: like shit

He was too tired to pretend to be anything else. He rested one elbow on his desk and leaned his cheek on his hand, typing lazily with one finger on his other hand.

EB: hey, i’m really sorry about giving vriska our fish parts! i didn’t think it would bother you that much, because you never cared about our science grade before!

“Egbert if you fucking think this is about fish parts then you’re as clueless as…as fucking John Egbert.” Dave said outloud. He moved his finger slowly, typing each letter one at a time, too exhausted to move his cheek from resting on his other hand.

TG: dont worry about it i really dont care

EB: great! see i didn’t think you would. and wait till you hear the best part! after you left, vriska came over and started talking to me.

TG: awesome

EB: i know, right? and then she was kinda, i dunno, um, sitting really close to me? like it felt like she was actually interested in being with me, you know?

TG: i have no fucking idea

EB: oh. well i guess you wouldn’t, really, um, want a girl near you, huh?

Fuck you, John Egbert, fuck you for being such an asshole without meaning to, fuck you for ripping my heart to pieces by accident.

TG: nope

EB: well, it felt really awesome! she’s just so cute, i mean, you wouldn’t know, but when she looks at me with those long eyelashes i just get all weak in the knees? and then i forgot to tell you the best part!

TG: whats the best part

EB: after you left, and the bell rang, everyone was gone but i stayed behind to guard your stuff  
EB: but i think vriska thought i stayed behind to talk to her, or something.  
EB: and then she was just like “joooooooohn, you should come over and help me more with sciency things sometime. text me tonight.”  
EB: and she gave me her number!

TG: yippie

EB: i know! i can’t wait, i wanted to text her right away but jade said i should wait a few hours so i don’t seem too desperate, do you think now’s a good time?

TG: sure

EB: okay! thanks, dave!

\--  ectoBiologist[EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead[TG] –

Dave numbly stared at the screen for awhile. Eventually Rose sent him a message, which he ignored. He clicked open SBAHJ and busied himself working on more shitty comics. At this point he had a queue built up over two months long, but working on his comics was about the only thing that didn’t drive him to near tears anymore. He couldn’t create music, it made him feel too much; he couldn’t play video games, it made him miss Bro too much. He wasn’t interested in photography because the only thing he wanted to take pictures of was John, for all the wrong reasons, and he just didn’t want to think about that shit anymore.

Hours passed by, he had no idea how many. But then his pesterchum started to flash again, this time with another message from EB. And like the moron that he was, he clicked on it.

EB: dave ohmygoshyouwillneverbelievewhathappened!

TG: she texted you back

EB: yes! and then she gave me her pesterchum handle! i’m iming her _right now_! :)

TG: hooray

EB: i know i can’t believe it either! an actual cute girl and she’s interested in talking to me oh my gosh what do i say?

Tell her to fuck off because you’re mine I saw you first.

TG: just be your usual self egbert

He doesn’t reply. You stare at the pesterchum box for awhile, waiting for whatever asinine response he’s going to give you next, but it doesn’t come. You imagine his face, staring at his screen as he frets over what to type to her, the two of them talking and laughing and flirting. Without you. He doesn’t want you.

Your eyes get hot and you rip your shades off of your face, hearing them clatter into the depths of your room somewhere. You pinch the bridge of your nose has hard as you can because fuck, this is not happening a _second_ time in the same day. No. Nope.

You are Dave Strider and you are definitely _not_ falling apart because the boy you are in love with is talking to you about some girl he’s into. No.

\--  tentacleTherapist[TT] began pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] –

TT: How are you handling this.

TG: fuck off

TT: That’s what I thought. You know you can vent to me, Dave.

Fuck you Rose why would I need to vent I don’t need to vent because there’s nothing the fuck wrong the last thing I need is to fucking talk about it.

TG: he wont shut up  
TG: he fucking gave her a piece of our fish guts

TT: …what?

TG: in bio were dissecting fish and terezi ruined some piece of theirs and vriska was all  
TG: while batting her fucking eyes  
TG: oh john please save a damsel in distress give me your fish organ  
TG: and john was like  
TG: wow boobs are talking to me here have my soul  
TG: and then i was like dude thats our fish guts  
TG: and he said oh dave are you still here  
TG: and i felt sick from the disgusting lab and definitely went to the bathroom to puke my guts out and i definitely wasnt crying on top of the toilet what kind of fucker does that

Dave stared at the screen, unbelieving that he was confessing any of this to Rose. But of all of his friends, he knew she was the one who could understand the best, and he knew he could trust her to keep his secrets. She always kept his secrets; she was a damn good friend and fuck her, fuck her for making him think about this shit.

He smacked his cheeks with his palms and wiped the annoying fucking tears away because fuck, Striders did not cry.

TT: Dave, I’m so sorry. John’s being a complete and total ass right now. I’d try to talk some sense into him, but now is not the time. I will speak to him later.

TG: whatever like i give a fuck

TT: Dave…

TG: no

TG: let him fawn over some chick that he just met while he ignores me and shoves me behind his back i dont give a fuck

TT: Dave, John isn’t shoving you behind his back. He loves you, just in a platonic friendship way. He can’t feel the same way you do. It’s not his fault that he’s straight.

Dave was not heaving. He was not shaking and he was definitely not sobbing. He didn’t want to face this, he wasn’t going to face this.

TG: easy for you to say the girl youre fucking in love with is hot for your ass

TT: You know, Kanaya wasn’t my first choice.  
TT: I was in love with someone else first, too. But she turned out to be straight, as well. I had to learn to let go of her, and when I did I was then free to see the beauty in Kanaya.

TG: right lemmie just go find the nearest available gay dude to take my mind off of john  
TG: hey sup lets make out so i dont have to think about how my best friend is breaking my heart  
TG: fuck i did not just type that ignore that i said that fuck fuck

Dave lowered his head and clasped his fingers in his own hair so tight it hurt. He had thought, for a short while, that Bro would do that for him. Distract him from his problems with John. He’d thought Bro had wanted him. But now…

The sob that came from his chest wasn’t just for John and he knew it. He had too much shit happening to him, all at once, and it was too fucking much.

EB: dave  
EB: dave oh my gosh i dont know what to do  
EB: i kinda let it slip that i like her but but then  
EB: she said she would like me if only i wasn’t so dorky  
EB: she said that my adoration of her was clearly on the mark but that she couldn’t be seen with a guy as dorky as me in school  
EB: she said maybe if i got rid of my glasses she’d go out with me  
EB: does she like me or not? i don’t know what to do!

Dave stared at the screen and the numbness he’d been feeling fell to the floor as a rage started to build up in him. He glared at the pesterchum box angrily and hit capslock.

MAYBE IF YOU’D STOP CHASING AFTER SLUTS AND JUST BE WITH ME BECAUSE I COULD TREAT YOU RIGHT ID NEVER BREAK YOUR FUCKING HEART BUT YOU DONT WANT THAT FUCK YOU DAVE FUCK YOUR LOVE ALL I WANT IS BOOBS AND PUSSY

He stared at the message without hitting send, sobbed, erased it, and re-typed.

TG: look dude i dont know anything about girls you should probably talk to rose about this ok

EG: oh, okay. i’m sorry, you’re right, i guess this isn’t really a bro conversation, i guess. i was just kinda hurting and i wanted my best bro there for me but i understand

_No you don’t fuck you John Egbert. FUCK. YOU._

\-- ectoBiologist[EB] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead[TG] –

Dave rose from his seat in a rage. He grabbed the nearest object on his desk and threw it across the room, the book clattering satisfactorily against a shelf ironically stacked with happy meal toys. He picked up another one and tossed it in the same general direction, not caring if it hit his bug collection, not caring if it hit his photography pictures hanging on the line above him. He threw each one with as much force as he could muster, pouring all of his rage at John, all of the betrayal from his brother, everything, all he had into his muscles and it felt good.

He saw his door open and the form of Bro standing in it out of the corner of his eye.

“What the hell?” he asked, and the voice of a living person was too much; company that made him at least slightly less alone made him break.

“Damn, stupid, _idio_ t boy!” he screamed, letting all of his rage at John boil to the surface while his feelings of betrayal from Bro faded to nothing. Even though he couldn’t think, part of him realized that Bro _had come home_.

“She treats him like fucking _shit_ , she plays with his heart like a fucking _toy_ and then I have to sit here all night and listen to him fucking cry! If I have to hear about Vriska Serket one more _fucking_ time, I’ll go over there and kill her my fucking _self_ , goddamn stupid Egbert, he should be with fucking _me_!”

With an exhausted toss, Dave threw the last book at the wall and sank, defeated, into his desk chair. He didn’t even bother to cover his face; he just stared blankly at his desk while he openly sobbed in front of his brother and didn’t give a shit. If Bro ragged on him for it he didn’t even care; let him, let them all make fun of him because he did not give a single fuck.

Bro silently walked into his room and put his hands gently on Dave’s shoulders. Dave’s emotions were a hurricane of a shitstorm and within them he found the relief that Bro was _here_. He’d come home; he wasn’t out banging somebody in a hotel. Dave leapt to his feet and buried his face into Bro’s shoulder. Bro’s arms wrapped around Dave and he pulled him close, holding him tight. Dave’s heart beat wildly with confusion and pain; he didn’t understand anything but it also didn’t matter. John didn’t give two shits about him, but Bro was here.

Bro raised his palm and rested it on the back of Dave’s head. A moment later he started stroking his fingers through Dave’s hair, much too tenderly. Dave’s heart started to pound for a different reason. Bro’s fingers felt incredibly sensual on his scalp. Dave inhaled deeply, his lungs filling with Bro’s scent, his warm chest pressed against him. He held onto him for dear life; his heart raw and torn open, desperate for any kind of being wanted.

Dave looked up at him to ask a question, but before he could even form words, Bro’s lips were heavily pressing to his. Emotions crashed in waves around Dave. His heart raced with the realization that Bro still wanted him, and it drowned out everything else. He sobbed into Bro’s mouth and pulled him close, Bro’s fingers in his hair soothing and comforting and turning him on all at once.

He tasted like beer and smelled like sweat and Dave concentrated only on that; he didn’t want to think about anything else; he just focused on this moment, on Bro, Bro’s fingers in his hair, Bro’s hand sliding down his back, Bro’s palm…grabbing his ass.

Warmth spread through Dave’s body, erasing the cold, filling the emptiness. Bro was here. With Dave; not with anyone else. Not with some chick, not with some dude, he was _here_ , in Dave’s room. His palm rubbed Dave’s ass in circles while his tongue devoured his mouth and heat flushed his cheeks. Warm lust spread through Dave’s body and he welcomed it gladly; it was perfect, it erased everything, it chased away all of his pain from John. He felt the heat rush between his legs and he let it; this was exactly the distraction he needed and he didn’t give two fucks that Bro was drunk.

Bro tightened his arms, squeezing Dave’s body close to him. Dave sighed heavily into Bro’s mouth, all of his fear and pain leaving through the moan he sent into his brother. He felt Bro’s erection push against him and Dave shuddered; he couldn’t believe he was this fucking turned on already. He wanted him. He wanted Dave.

Bro pulled back and looked down at his face, an actual expression of concern or something showing on it. He slid his hand around from Dave’s hair to stroke his thumb across his cheek, wiping away his tears. Dave’s heart glowed, much more than he knew he should let it, but he had no ability to keep any part of himself under control right now.

“You didn’t fucking stay out.” Dave said, not able to hide a hair of his emotion. Bro gazed down at him with some kind of deep but unreadable feeling and plunged them into another kiss. He opened his mouth wide, sucking both of Dave’s lips between his and then slowly closing them, sliding everything together, surrounding Dave with his hot breath. Dave moaned up into it and arched his back, pushing his body hard into his brother’s chest.

Bro pushed Dave towards his bed- and Dave let him, even as butterflies started to dance in his abdomen. It felt so good to be wanted, so good to have someone want to be close to him. Bro pushed him down on his bed, crushing Dave’s body with his, covering him with his heat and weight. Dave shuddered and sighed into his greater strength; Bro would take care of him, Bro would make it better, just like he always did, like he always would.

Bro pulled his lips away from Dave’s and he sighed up to the ceiling. When Bro moved down to kiss his throat, all coherent thoughts left Dave completely. Warm, tingling heat shot up his spine and down his chest, and all Dave knew was that he never wanted Bro to leave him again.

He reached up his arms to wrap them around his brother, holding him close. It wasn’t that he had anywhere near the strength to keep Bro from getting up if he chose; it was to show him that Dave _wanted_ him, that he needed him here. Bro responded by sliding his gloved palms down Dave’s sides to brush his fingertips underneath the bottom of his shirt. Dave obediently raised his arms to help Bro pull it over his head, the cool air on his skin only making Dave more desperate to have Bro close to him again.

Really close. Without-clothes-in-the-way close. With his fingers trembling, Dave reached up to grasp the bottom of Bro’s white shirt between his fingers. Shyly, not able to look his brother in the shades, he started to lift the shirt up- and Bro rose onto his knees to let him. When Dave had it off he rested on his own knees, his eyes captured by the muscular form of Bro’s chest, the fine blond hairs curling at the top and forming a gentle but masculine trail that disappeared into the waist of his jeans. Dave looked up and saw Bro’s ears flushing red, and he told himself it must have been from the alcohol, because there was no way…

Bro pushed himself onto Dave again, his lips forcing Dave’s head down into the mattress and all Dave could think of was how he never wanted him to leave. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around his brother’s bare back, feeling the heat of his bare skin, drinking in his closeness, his warmth.

Bro’s fingers danced over Dave’s chest, over his stomach, exploring his body hastily, making hardly any effort to hide his real intentions. Seconds later his fingers were sliding down to undo Dave’s belt, his fingers making such quick work of Dave’s fly that he was surprised when he felt his jeans and boxers being yanked down past his knees, together. Bro scrambled to his feet and pulled again, tossing Dave’s pants to the floor, leaving him completely naked, his hardening erection displayed for Bro to see.

Dave stared as Bro’s fingers went up to undo his own fly. Dave watched with flushed, red cheeks as Bro let his pants and boxers drop unceremoniously to the floor. His eyes immediately went to Bro’s much larger cock, and Dave’s head swam at the memories of touching it, of taking it into his mouth, of making Bro cum…

He watched with half-lidded eyes as Bro deliberately unsnapped his gloves, peeling them off and dropping them on the floor. Dave’s heart beat even harder; that action said more than any amount of words ever could. Bro always took impeccable care of his gloves, hat, and shades- he loved them more than almost anything else he owned, and now they lay discarded on the floor, unwanted, in the face of Bro’s desire for Dave.

Dave was in a dream as he watched Bro slowly remove his hat, and then his shades, and set them carefully on top of Dave’s desk. His red eyes rose and their gazes locked, for just a second, before neither of them could take the intensity of that any longer. Bro crawled onto the bed and broke the gaze to kiss Dave’s throat once more, and he became a useless puddle of heat on the bed.

Bro’s lips traced over his neck, his collar bone, his shoulder, his chest. His kisses left tingling sensations over Dave’ skin, spreading warmth and lust until holy fuck he just licked my nipple holy _fuck_.

Dave whimpered; a pathetic, helpless sound and that only seemed to encourage Bro further. The things happening to him were somehow more intense than they’d ever been on the couch; Dave could have sworn this was his first time ever being touched in his life. Bro sealed his lips and sucked his nipple and Dave gasped like a girl, too turned on and hot to even feel properly embarrassed. He let the want and desire ooze through him, drown him, cover him. Bro reached up and teased his other nipple with his fingers, and Dave was gone. He arched his hips up towards his brother, pushing his hardening erection up toward him, feeling it brush against his bare stomach.

Bro started to move his lips lower, kissing over Dave’s panting ribcage, running his tongue in little licks over the individual ribs as he went. Dave shuddered and lifted his fingers to clasp them in Bro’s hair, making it as clear as he could that he never, ever wanted Bro to leave. Bro obliged him, never letting his lips get farther than a half-inch from his skin, his breath thick and heavy as it washed over Dave’s body.

He kissed even lower, his lips going below his belly button, and Dave’s heart threatened to fly out of his chest. Bro didn’t hesitate whatsoever before dragging his tongue lazily up the length of Dave’s fully hardened cock. He squeaked.

Bro sucked it into his mouth and Dave’s vision swam as heat and wet registered on his sensitive tip. Bro’s hands rested on Dave’s hips, holding him steady as he swallowed his cock far into his mouth. Dave groaned deeply, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt desire pour into his dick, making it swell in Bro’s mouth. He tried to buck up into the delicious heat, but Bro’s hands held him firmly down, which only made him hotter.

Dave remembered that he had legs; they were still hanging over the edge of the bed, in fact. Dave kicked them for a moment until he found his footing, and used the leverage of his feet on the floor to push himself up deep into Bro’s mouth, despite the hands on his hips. Bro eagerly took him, almost as if he’d been hoping Dave would do that. He sealed his lips at the base of Dave’s cock and sucked as he pulled up, creating sensations of intense pleasure that turned Dave into a panting, writhing mess.

Bro moved his hands so they slid under the backs of Dave’s knees, but in the state he was in, the motion barely registered. He pushed up with his hands, making Dave bend his knees and lift his feet up onto the bed. Dave could hardly concentrate on that, though, because Bro’s lips sinking down on his dick erased his ability to think about anything else. It wasn’t until Bro’s thumb slid in between Dave’s ass cheeks and stroked over his rectum that his eyes flew wide and he realized something else was going on.

“Bro holy shit holy shit holy shit,” he said, panting so hard his lungs heaved, from fear and excitement and lust all at once. This was new. This was entirely new.

Bro’s response was to pull Dave’s cock out of his mouth and lick down the underside of his shaft- and then not stop. He flattened his tongue and ran it over Dave’s balls, his breath thick over Dave’s extremely sensitive skin. Dave’s heart flew even faster as Bro’s tongue traced lower, dipping down between Dave’s balls and his body, licking Dave in places he was sure he’d never even touched himself.

His face burned red as embarrassment and uncertainty flickered in between the pounding want. His dick felt cold now as the spit that covered it started to dry in the air. Bro’s hands slid to grasp Dave’s thighs from the inside, smooth and sure, absolutely certain of what they were doing. He teased his tongue over Dave’s ass at first and Dave squeezed his eyes shut, knowing what Bro was after but terrified of it. He didn’t know if he wanted this, he wasn’t sure…

Bro’s hot tongue shoved itself between his ass cheeks and it felt incredibly strange. Dave tried to squeeze his legs together out of reflex, but Bro’s hands held his thighs open, and wow okay it turns out your asshole is way more sensitive than you ever thought it was holy fuck Bro this is weird you’re licking my ass don’t you know where that’s been stop maybe you should stop I don’t think…

“Ungh…” was what actually came out of Dave’s voice, and if he didn’t know better, he thought he possibly felt Bro smile against his skin before he went for another longer, deeper lick. And wow, okay, that…feels pretty…

“Uhhhhhnnnn…” Dave said, Bro’s tongue, hot and wet over his sensitive flesh and wow. Oh. Wow. That feels so good. Huh. Who knew….

“Ohhhh…” was all Dave supplied, and Bro was dragging his tongue in long, unabashed licks now, flicking it sometimes and tickling Dave others and all he could do was lay there and feel it, totally at Bro’s mercy, and wow, Bro’s tongue was such an awesome thing to be at the mercy of, fuck, Bro this feels _so good_ , fuck, you’re not fooling around are you this is what you really want isn’t it your tongue on my ass this is what you’ve been after and

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…” Dave said when Bro sealed his lips and sucked, making Dave jump and pant with heat, his dick as hard as ever as he felt entirely, completely vulnerable and exposed and taken advantage of and he was _loving it_.

Bro’s tongue pushed against him, pushed _hard_ and suddenly it was _inside_ holy _fuck_.

“Ghaaa..ah…ah!” Dave cried, his entire body shaking as his fingers clasped the bedsheets as he desperately tried to hold on to reality. Bro didn’t have a hair of hesitation or shyness as he plunged his tongue _in_ , curling it to lick Dave on the inside, moving it in every direction and Dave squirmed and writhed and panted, it felt so weird and _so good_. Dave’s breaths came in deep pants as he started to sweat from the exertion of just plain _feeling_. He whimpered and squealed and squirmed, all the while his brain being able to hold onto only one thought: Bro _wanted_ him.

Bro slid his tongue out, and gently rose up to sit between Dave’s legs. Dave panted up at him, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, his cock hard and swollen and dripping a pool of precum onto his stomach. He stared up at his brother’s flushed, lustful face, into his bare, half-closed eyes and couldn’t believe this was real.

“That’s called rimming.” Bro said, and Dave had known what rimming was before that but _holy fuck_ he had no idea it would _feel like that_?. “It’s damn good foreplay.” Bro said.

Dave’s heart flew into high gear as he is eyes grew wide. Foreplay. What. What.

“F…foreplay?” Dave managed to squeak out.

“Yes, foreplay, don’t shit me, I know you know what that is.”

“Yeah, but…but…uh…”

Holy fuck, holy shit, fuck, fuck, what is he saying, what is he talking about, oh my God what does he want holy shit holy shit.

Bro crawled over Dave, his body hovering over him, terrifyingly sexy and muscular and strong, yet comfortingly loving and strangely familiar. Bro looked Dave right in the eyes then, and desire and excitement and fear all mixed together as Dave tried to form coherent thoughts. What did Bro _want_?

“Are you going to fuck me, Bro?” he whispered, his voice completely failing him.

“Do you want me to?”

Oh God. I’m having this conversation. This is a thing we’re talking about. Okay, chill, Dave, chill. He’s asking you. It’s a question. You can say no. He won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. It’s fucking Bro; you can fucking trust him.

Dave stared up at his brother, looking for answers, trying to figure this out. Why was Bro asking him this? Why…why did he want to fuck him? Was he in love with him, the way Dave was? Did he feel like that? Is that why he kept coming home, night after night, not staying out, not fucking anyone else…this was…

Dave could see the desire on Bro’s face. He could _see_ it; Bro wasn’t trying to hide how he felt, now. The way he was looking at Dave; hungrily, lustfully, it made Dave feel good. He liked it. He wanted Bro to look at him like that. He didn’t want him to stop.

“Will it hurt?” his voice squeaked out, showing how afraid and uncertain he was, and he inwardly winced at himself.

“Probably.” Bro said, his voice full of desire, his eyelids half closed. It was easy for Dave to see just how badly Bro wanted him, now. He couldn’t hide it so he wasn’t even trying.

“Just the first time, right?” Dave asked, flutters shaking through every part of him as he tried to get a handle on his nerves.

Bro shook, and Dave’s heart swelled with desire to make Bro feel more of _that_.

“Maybe not even the whole way through. Maybe the first couple times. Everybody’s different.”

Dave’s heart raced as good feelings swelled through him. Bro, look at me like that some more. Look at me like that forever…is that how you’ll look at me while you’re fucking me…

Dave knew that he wanted…he wanted to be fucked, in his lifetime, that was a thing he wanted to experience. Probably this was a little too soon; probably he wasn’t fucking ready for this but Bro…Bro would do it right. Bro wouldn’t…he wouldn’t hurt him. He wasn’t…even if, when Bro sobered up in the morning and said this would never happen again…Dave’s first time would be safe. He was safe. And fuck, _when_ Bro sobered up he’d probably freak the fuck out, and never offer this again. This was Dave’s one fucking chance.

With his emotions still a cacophony of discord and tumult, Dave steeled up his courage and nodded.

“Do it. Fuck me.” he said, managing to convey the conviction of his decision in his voice. Yes.

He watched Bro’s face melt with unbelief, followed by excitement. Dave’s heart sang. Yes, this would be good; Bro would feel good and Dave would get to have him; he’d get to be the one with him, this time, tonight.

Bro leaned down and devoured him with a rough kiss, heavy and desperate. Dave returned it with as much emotion, crazy feelings trampling through him. Bro ran his fingers through Dave’s hair and then roughly grabbed it, anchoring Dave’s head in place, and Dave realized just how desperate Bro was to have him. He’d been hiding it; he’d been holding back as much as he could; Dave knew Bro had wanted him but fuck, he didn’t know how much. Now Bro showed it. He slid his hand down Dave’s side and straight to his dick. Dave arched his back up into Bro’s warm touch and moaned.

Bro sat up, breathing harder than he did during their most intense strifes.

“I’ll be right back.” he whispered, and then he was gone. Dave panted on the bed, shivering as the heat of Bro’s body left him. He knew what Bro was getting. This was going to fucking happen. Dave was going to get fucked. By Bro. Yes. Bro needed it; Dave wanted him. Yes.

Bro came back quickly. He wasted no time, sitting between Dave’s still-spread legs; he hadn’t moved. His fingers stroked the insides of Dave’s thighs. He inhaled sharply; revealing to himself just how nervous he really was.

Bro pushed Dave’s legs slowly even further apart. Dave’s face blushed with embarrassment, as if Bro’s face hadn’t just been pressed against his ass, as if he’d never been exposed to him like this before. He felt incredibly vulnerable, every one of his muscles tense. Bro’s hands left him. He heard him squeeze lube onto his fingers. He felt Bro touch his ass.

It was cold and wet and gooey and Dave tensed. It felt strange and weird. Bro stroked his ass cheeks with it, making Dave feel pretty gross and messy. His dick started to deflate; he was nervous, it was cold.

Bro’s fingers slid between his cheeks and stroked him on the outside, just as his tongue had done before. This feeling was familiar, at least; Dave already knew that he liked this feeling, at least. It felt good. He stared at the ceiling as he concentrated on Bro’s fingers slicking over him the way his tongue had, and yeah…oh, yeah.

The heat that he’d felt earlier started to return. Bro’s thumb, Bro’s tongue, it didn’t matter; he liked to be touched there, it started to feel good.

Dave realized he was moaning out loud now, softly.

“Yeah,” Bro said, his voice going straight to Dave’s blood to race through his body. “Let it feel good.”

Okay. Yes. Uh…ohhhh…..

Dave started to relax as he realized that Bro wasn’t going to rush this. He wasn’t going to just shove himself inside and be done with it. He was being as gentle as _fuck_ , slow and patient and just, uh. Bro, fuck, yes. Wow that feels so good, when you touch me like that, just…

Dave was hot and panting again. He looked up at his brother’s face as he worked and felt a deeper attraction than ever before. His hands, his fingers, Bro, touch me, yes, oh, yes…

Bro rested the tip of his finger right on Dave’s hole just for a moment, and Dave didn’t move. He trusted him. Yes. Be with me, Bro, I’m yours; have me, take me.

Bro pushed his finger slowly inside. Dave squeaked, grew tense, and squirmed. It didn’t feel like his tongue; it was harder, went deeper, wow that’s far in there wow okay Bro’s finger is sliding in and out of my ass this is a thing that’s happening yep.

But it was predictable. Bro moved with a steady rhythm, a regular pace. There was nothing surprising about it. Dave learned how it felt and then it wasn’t as strange. Bro kept going and Dave grew used to it. Started to like it. He started to relax. Yeah, okay, this is alright. This…

Bro curled his finger. Intensity sprang through Dave’s nerves and a strangled squeak escaped his lips. He squirmed and writhed and holy fuck, holy _fuck_ , Bro, do that again oh shit yes, yes, _yes_. Dave panted and squeaked and groaned, his eyes trained on Bro’s face; his sexy, gorgeous face and Dave thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. His dick started to swell again, and Bro’s fingers were relentless; they knew exactly what to do and Bro played with him, he played Dave and it felt amazing, oh yeah, yeah, yes, fuck, Bro, don’t stop, don’t stop...

Bro pushed a second finger inside Dave, and wow okay it hurt. He shut his eyes and bit his lower lip but he did his best not to show the discomfort on his face because it still felt good. He didn’t want Bro to stop; a little sting and some pressure wasn’t the end of the world and okay, that’s already not so bad.

Bro spread his fingers inside of him, putting pressure right on that spot that felt _so good_ and Dave _keened_ , his own voice a pathetic whimper of hotness because fucking _yes_. Oh, yes, Bro, your fingers own me, touch me, take me.

“Fuck,” Bro whispered softly, and Dave’s heart swelled. He was enjoying this as much as Dave was. He liked to make Dave feel good, too, wow.

Bro pushed a third finger in.

“Ahhh…yeeee…ah….” Dave said, trying to hide the discomfort on his face, trying to relax but still tensing against his will because yeah, this was really uncomfortable, but oh, it still feels so good, how does a thing feel so good and so uncomfortable at the same time Bro how does it do that. How are you doing this to me, uh, do more of it do it _more_.

Bro’s other hand came up and stroked Dave’s erection. Pleasure oozed between Dave’s hips in every possible place; blood rushing to make him hard again, because holy fuck. Every part between his legs was on fire, pulsing heat singing through his blood and he decided he was never going to think again and that was pretty awesome. Bro’s hand on his dick, Bro’s hand inside of him, the things he was feeling, there was nothing better than this, nothing could be better.

Bro’s hand left his dick. Dave realized his eyes had been closed and he cracked them open to see Bro pumping himself. Dave smiled dreamily; Bro was feeling as good as he was, yes; this was so awesome, they felt good together, they were…

Bro slowly pulled his fingers out of Dave. Dave whimpered as he suddenly felt empty. He was about to ask him to come back when he realized what he was doing. This was it. Holy fuck, this was it. Bro was putting a condom on, oh fuck. Oh, fuck.

Bro leaned down over him, his face nothing but want, and Dave gazed up at him between his half-closed eyelids. Bro leaned down and kissed him, heavy and hard, and Dave lifted his face up to meet him. Yes. Bro, I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, make me yours. Be mine.

Bro broke the kiss and rose up onto his knees, fitting them under Dave’s thighs. He brought them close together, the heat of his body radiating between Dave’s legs and oh wow, that’s tip of Bro’s dick against my ass, yes it is.

Dave’s heart pounded so hard he couldn’t hear. Excitement and heat danced through his nerves. Dave breathed faster and glanced up at his face. He nodded. Yes.

Bro reached down with his hand and slowly pushed. When he forced Dave open he sucked in air through his teeth because _fuck he was huge_. This was not like his tongue, not like his finger, no, this was not like anything oh fuck, oh fuck. It went in _deep_. Deeper and deeper, Dave forced everything he had into keeping his face still; he knew he was nowhere near a poker face but he could hide enough so Bro wouldn’t stop. He was a fucking Strider; he wasn’t going to chicken out now; he was terrified out of his mind but he trusted Bro. Bro wouldn’t hurt him. Bro won’t hurt me. He knows what he’s doing. Wow, that’s fucking deep…

Dave shook and panted, whimpering and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Bro’s arms wrapped around his bare back and pulled him up, bringing their chests close together. It made Dave sink down onto his cock, shoving it in all the way, so deep and wow this hurts, is it supposed to feel like this, Bro why are you so fucking huge I’m going to crack.

“Easy, now.” he said, his voice so soft and gentle in Dave’s ear. “Just relax, trust me.”

I am. So much, because I want to be freaking out and screaming and running for the hills right now, Bro; I would never, ever let anyone else do this to me, do you know that; you’re the only one, the only person I would let inside me like this oh fuck it’s so uncomfortable it hurts dammit but you know that don’t you.

He knew. Dave knew, from the way Bro held him in his arms, close, gentle, and perfectly still. He reached up and stroked his hair, his fingers sending waves of comfort over Dave’s scalp. Bro leaned down gently and kissed his neck, softly, sweetly. He was being so incredibly tender, he was treating Dave like a thing that could break; and he couldn’t even feel insulted, because right now, he felt like that.

“Relax, little bro.” he said, his voice soothing and deep. “That’s when it feels good. If you let me in.”

Dave moaned softly. You’re fucking in, Bro. You’ve always been in; ever since you kissed me in the kitchen you’ve been in; no, before that, before that, okay, forever, I’ve always, always been yours.

He slid his hands down Dave’s chest, and Dave sank slowly his back down to the bed. Bro’s fingers and palms stroked Dave’s body over his stomach, over his sides. He rubbed his belly in gentle, sensual circles, and Dave started to relax. He could feel himself stretching to fit Bro inside of him. This wasn’t so bad.

Bro put his palms on the bed and slowly slid out, leaving, leaving, wow this goes on forever Bro just how fucking big _are_ you and holyfuckhescomingbackin holy _shit_

“Ahhhh…ahhhh!” Dave cried. Bro was back, filling him, so full, so big, oh wow, now he’s leaving again and that feels weird and now he’s coming back and that feels weird and now he’s leaving okay I know what that feels like now he’s coming back and

Bro _groaned_. Dave’s eyes flew open so he could stare at his face and it was _drowning_ in desire. Bro was mired in lust, totally surrounded by his want for Dave. He was really _really_ enjoying this.

Bro slid back in again, and Dave was getting used to it. No, more than used to it, this was getting easy. Oh, wow, Bro, am I really making you feel like that, look at your face, dude, you should see yourself, you should see what I’m doing to you.

Bro moved faster. And that felt _good_.

“Uh.” Dave said. It felt good when Bro slid out, yeah; and it felt good when he slid in; oh, yeah, when Bro’s dick pushed up past his prostate and squeezed it, the pressure, right there…Bro, faster. It still hurts but I don’t fucking care oh, yes….

Bro lifted Dave’s hips, making the angle easier and he slid in, hard.

Dave’s head flew back as his eyes sprang wide open.

“Oh, God!” he cried. Bro thrust into him again.

“Ffffuck!” Dave screamed, his voice forcing itself from his throat with each of Bro’s thrusts, yes, harder, Bro, fuck me, fuck me…

“Damn, Dave.” Bro said, the heavy seriousness gone from his face as he smirked.

“Shut up!” Dave cried, because right now, he felt so good he didn’t give a fuck about anything. “You’re making noises, too.” he snapped back. Bro’s reply was to thrust into him again, and Dave cried out. Oh, yes.

“Yeah, but I’m not making the neighbors deaf.” Bro taunted, and Dave smiled. This wasn’t some stranger; it was _Bro_. This was _his_ Bro. And they were fucking. Damn.

“I can see on your face how you like it.” Dave threw back, unable to hide a smirk of his own. Instead of a retort Bro just thrust in harder, making Dave forget about conversation. He was slamming into him now, hard and fast, his breath coming in bursts as he sweated above him. Dave closed his eyes to feel it; the intensity was too much and yet not enough, he could do this all day, forever, Bro yes, yes, why didn’t we do this sooner holy shit.

Bro’s hand reached down and grabbed Dave’s shaft. He keened and whimpered as Bro stroked him, his entire body on fire with sensation now. His breaths came heavy and hard. Dave wanted more. He lifted his hips to get Bro deeper inside of him. It was too much. His breath became erratic and the sensations all sang straight to his balls. His dick throbbed; all of him throbbed and with an exhausted whimper, he came. Bro’s hands grabbed his hips then and he thrust desperately, forcefully into Dave, so hard it hurt again and Dave was finished so it didn’t feel that good but damn, Bro’s face, oh…oh wow.

Bro bit back a cry and slammed himself deep into Dave, where he stayed. Dave saw pleasure overwhelm him in a rush and heat flush through him as he watched his brother cum. It was an amazing thing to see; he had been holding back before, but he wasn’t now. Dave saw him. He knew. Bro belonged to him. Bro was his.

With a shudder Bro collapsed, Dave’s hips falling back to the bed as Bro hovered over him. He hid his face as he slowly pulled out, leaving Dave feeling empty and sore. The sudden change was unpleasant, but he ignored it. He could only stare at Bro’s face.

He heard the squishing noises of the condom being removed but didn’t pay much attention to that. He felt Bro wiping off his stomach, and Dave just smiled up at him, dazed. Bro lay down next to him, his body warm and close. Dave gazed over at him. Bro. Bro.

“Damn.” Dave said softly. It was the best he could do to even attempt to describe all the things he was feeling.

“I’m an asshole.” Bro said. Dave heard the shake in his voice. His heart ached in a strange way. Bro was upset with himself. No, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Bro, seriously, it’s not that bad.”

He needed to know that Dave had felt good. That he’d wanted this. He still wanted this. He crawled over to him and rested his head on Bro’s chest. Bro let him. He let Dave close; he didn’t push him away.

He wrapped his arms tightly around Dave and held him close. Dave’s heart forgot everything else it had been feeling; his mind forgot everything else it had been thinking. Bro filled him; inside and out, in every corner and crevice, and he glowed with it. Bro, don’t be upset; Bro, don’t be afraid. I’m here. You’re here. We got this.

Bro belonged to him. Bro was his. He wasn’t alone. Somebody wanted him, and that was all that mattered; it was all he cared about. For the first time in a very long time, Dave Strider fell asleep without any loneliness eating at him. He felt full, and whole, and loved; and there wasn’t a thought of John Egbert in him anywhere.


End file.
